My review of CARGO by William S. Mayfield

Anyone who knows me knows I love the zombie genre, so whenever I see there’s a new trailer for a new movie showcasing the walking dead, I have to at least watch the trailer. I first saw the trailer for Cargo a few months ago, and instantly want to see it. The film stars Martin Freeman of Black Panther and The Hobbit fame as Andy, a man put to an impossible task... trying to get his infant daughter to safety during an infectious outbreak in the Australian outback. Our story starts off with Andy and Kay, his wife played by Susie Porter, on a houseboat navigating rivers with their young daughter trying to find help or shelter.

This movie is a slow burn at times but it's a good slow. We see a father get pushed into a terrifying situation and have to do whatever it takes to save his child, and as a father, it really hit me hard. I couldn't imagine going through this by myself but add my child, sheer horror for me. Along his way, Andy finds other survivors, some good and some not so good. There is also a lot of Aboriginal actors in this film which I have not seen since The Gods Must Be Crazy which is a blast from the past. Zombie movies like this, “infected”, kind of really freaking me out because in this crazy world we all could be one case of the flu away from The Walking Dead and 28 Days Later. If you like good zombie movies and suspense then CARGO is right up your alley. I give CARGO 8 out of 10.

CARGO is currently available on Netflix.

my thoughts on.... 'Day of the Dead: Bloodlines'

As with all of my reviews of films for The Creepercast, I fully recommend that you check each and every one of them out. I am one man and this is my opinion. I've seen plenty of movies that received reviews that were the complete opposite of how I saw the film. These writers, directors, producers and actors all put a lot of time and love into these projects. They deserve to be seen and appreciated for what they are. Everyone has a dream and I fully support the people that take the time to make theirs a reality. With that being said....

What can you say about George A. Romero's 'Day of the Dead' (1985) that hasn't already been said. It's a film that wasn't nearly the scale and scope that he wanted. He had to tone down his blockbuster story, to match his ever shrinking non-blockbuster budget. The result was still a far superior zombie tale to many of those still being made today. Then, there was 'Day of the Dead' (2008). Steve Miner's attempt to play off of the success of Zack Snyder's 'Dawn of the Dead' remake in (2004). While I found the film to be quite fun and an interesting take on the original story, it didn't quite have the same staying power. Although, I'll admit that he made the story his own and created a fairly fun little popcorn zombie film. Now, lest you think I've forgotten about 'Day of the Dead 2: Contagium' (2005), I haven't. I just haven't been able to bring myself to watch it, after all of the horrible things I've seen and read about it, I've stayed far away from it. So that brings us to Hèctor Hernández Vicens brand new take on the tale, 'Day of the Dead: Bloodlines' (2018). Now, this isn't a part 2 or a continuation of the original story. This is truly another remake. As it's been well documented, I'm a fan of remakes. I have no issues with them, as long as the creators are doing something different. Making the story their own and bringing something new to the table. Sadly, no one has attempted George A. Romero's original script yet, but maybe someday in the future it'll see the light of day on the big screen. In this version, it sticks pretty close to the original film from 1985. There are a few deviations, but overall, it's the same story with some different characters or ones that have been combined into one person. But before we dig into the finer points of the film, let's break down the plot.

The film begins with a scene of mass hysteria, as the zombie have already begun to overrun the human population. There are people screaming and running for their lives, as everyone around them is either being ripped apart or being turned into the undead themselves. At this point, we meet Zoe. She's trying to grasp what's happening, while trying to find safety and shelter. Now, we rewind to earlier before the outbreak has occurred. We learn that Zoe is a med student and she's got a creeper stalker named Max. As the other med students are having a big party, Zoe is being victimized by Max. Soon, patient zero returns from the dead and begins spreading the zombie virus at an alarming rate. Zoe escapes and we fast forward to the present. Some time has passed and she's found her way into a military stronghold, where she's the only practicing doctor, who's surviving alongside military personal and civilians just hoping to not become part of the world of the undead. When they learn that a little girl has a strain of pneumonia that will potentially infect everyone in the bunker, Zoe leads a team back to the medical school to get much needed medical supplies. When they return, they have an unknown hitchhiker, a very zombie Max. Once they realize he's there, they also realize that he may be the cure to the virus. Not a way to turn everyone back to humans, but the way to keep anyone else from being turned into the walking dead. Before long, things go sideways and Zoe has to do everything she can to save Max, in order to make a cure, but not kill off everyone else in the process.

What's interesting about this take on the original story, is that it's almost like an even more toned down version of what was already toned down. The budget is obviously less than the 1985 and the 2008 versions of the film. While elements of them both still remain, you can clearly see that they were doing the best with what they have. The only real name in the film is Johnathon Schaech, who most of you may recognize from his role as Jimmy in 'That Thing You Do!'. He's taking on the role of Max, the analog for the original and remakes lovable learning zombie, Bub. In this go around, he's not so lovable. They have also gone so far as to explain why he's smarter than your average zombie. Why he retains some of the things that make us human, including logic and reason. He's still a creeper, but we learn very quickly that he's capable of rational thought as he literally hunts down Zoe and keeps himself hidden in the bunker. This doesn't really feel very logical and really hurts the story, in my opinion. Not the fact that he can react to things in a more human way, but that he uses it for the purpose of continuing to be a creeper. He's anything but likable in this film. In this version of the story, Zoe is a composite of both Sarah and Dr. Logan. One of the few female leads and the only doctor on site. We lose the characters of John and Bill, which provided some relief from all the military personal in the original. In this re-telling, it's all military, Zoe and some civilians, probably due to budget, but it gives the viewer less characters to really latch onto. Which in any film where the overall plot is fairly dark, you need some spots of daylight to keep you interested and to give you people to root for. Here, we end up not really having anyone we care about or that we want to see live. Even the zombie, Bub, that we all fell in love with, is turned into something to loathe and despise. It's a brave decision, but the wrong one to make. With a run time of about an hour and 30 minutes, it feels like a 50 minute race to the ending. I never found myself rooting for anyone and it all felt like we were going through the motions. At least in the 2008 film, we still had characters that were fun to watch and even the undead helped to move the story along. One last big change from the original, was the running zombies vs the slow, shambling ones. While this is a stylistic choice, in this film it's not utilized very well. The same can be said for how quickly the infected turn. We even get an explanation that, depending on where you've been bitten, will dictate how quickly you become a 'rotter'. Scientifically, it makes sense, I guess? But this is like the difference between the rate in which you get high taking a Vicodin vs mainlining heroin. Not too mention the blood splatter bursts. That only works in anime, guys.

At the end of a very bloody day, 'Day of the Dead: Bloodlines' kind of fails at what it's trying to do. While I can respect Hèctor Hernández Vicens' vision and what he was trying to do, I think he was hamstrung by a shoddy script and a minuscule budget. The actors seemed to be straight out of film school and there was never really any drama, danger or a real plot to speak of. Imagine taking your favorite story and removing all of the things you really loved about it and replacing it with excerpts from the phone book. That's kind of what we ended up with here and it's a shame. While the original isn't crying out for a remake, after what 'Dawn of the Dead' (2004) did for upping the remake game, there's a potential there to create something amazing. Only time will tell if we'll ever get a version of this story that will stand alongside the original and don't get me wrong, it wasn't a perfect film. However, it's stood the test of time and has still managed to set the tone for generations of zombie films that followed it. It's quotable and has one of the most horrific scenes of undead violence ever committed to the screen. If you don't know what I'm referring too, just think back to when Rhodes finally got his comeuppance. I'm giving this film 1 out of 5 stars. Sadly, it just fell far too short of the mark. Little budget or not, I've seen films on a tiny budget, pull off really big things. So that's not an excuse. Somewhere right now, Bub is rolling over in his empty grave. Also, what was up with Johnathon Schaech's mouth?!?!



If you want to see where this all began, check out: 'Day of the Dead' (1985), 'Day of the Dead' (2008) and while you're at it, check out 'The Battery' a film that was made on a shoestring budget that is still one of the best zombie films of the past 10 years

my thoughts on.... 'Peelers' Available July 4th

As with all of my reviews of films for The Creepercast, I fully recommend that you check each and every one of them out. I am one man and this is my opinion. I've seen plenty of movies that received reviews that were the complete opposite of how I saw the film. These writers, directors, producers and actors all put a lot of time and love into these projects. They deserve to be seen and appreciated for what they are. Everyone has a dream and I fully support the people that take the time to make theirs a reality. With that being said....

Sometimes you're thrown a curve ball in life and sometimes you turn it into a giant ongoing gag, that never really worked to begin with. That seems to be the theme of this movie, 'Peelers'. Here, at The Creepercast, we try to always keep an open mind and go into each and every film with fresh eyes. No judgements, prior to a screening, just the desire to see as many horror films as possible and bring our thoughts on them to you. When I was giving the assignment of seeing 'Peelers', I had absolutely no idea what I would be in for. The poster was vague, at best, and I stayed away from any reviews. For all I knew, this was a movie about a strip club being targeted by some kind of serial slasher. What I got instead, was a bizarre mess of a zombie film that used a very odd premise, while attempting to be clever and original. Now, I give the creators credit for bringing something new to the table, but this was a mess of a movie.

The story begins in a hospital, with a sick man who is soon attacking the staff. Foreshadowing? We then move onto a rather clever intro, but one that feels more like a late night Cinemax film, than a zombie movie. Soon we're meeting our protagonist in the film, Blue Jean. A former stripper, turned strip club owner, who has a police motorcycle, a bit of a temper and a thing against being called “BJ”. The club, called 'Titty Balls', is in the process of being sold to a rather greasy man who seems to be a bit of a bad guy. As the night wears own, a group of 5 guys getting off of work, stroll into the bar. One of them is celebrating his birthday, but has been injured on the site. Before long, he's in the bathroom throwing up and turning into a zombie type creature. What happens next it an odd mix of 'From Dusk Till Dawn' meets 'Zombie Strippers'. We find out that these are not merely the undead, but some kind of oil infused living dead creature. Ones that are fully capable of using weapons and have some form of intelligence. It turns out that the 5 workers had stumbled across some kind of oily substance in the mine and were fairly certain this was their ticket to a fortune. In reality, it was soon to be the beginning of a potential apocalypse. The strippers, co-workers and Blue Jeans' son, are soon in a fight for their lives, as it seems nothing can stop these monsters from staying dead.

Written by Lisa DeVita and co-written and directed by Sevé Schelenz, 'Peelers' tries too hard to be something new. It also attempts to push the envelope, riding somewhere along the lines of a Troma movie and an early Peter Jackson film, 'Bad Taste'. Sadly, none of it seems to really work. The special effects are above average and the music is good, although the pacing is so off that it doesn't help to maintain a kinetic story line. It's very disjointed and right in the middle of some very gruesome sequences, the characters stop to have heartfelt moments. They're so jammed into the scenes that it feels like the kind of thing a first year film student would try. The same can be said for the characterization of Blue Jean. The overuse of her love of baseball and the many bits of baseball themed dialogue that are thrown in, make her a very one dimensional character. Which is sad, because Wren Walker (who plays Blue Jean) is very charismatic and likable. You find yourself drawn to her and want her to succeed, but every time she says another throw away line about the world's favorite pastime, you lose a little more interest in her survival. They also take the bit about these creatures being oil based to a weird and unsatisfying resolution. Because of their primary substance being oil based, then of course, water is their natural enemy! Not since 'Signs', has their been such an audible groan from the audience. The revelation also leads to some rather unconventional killing methods. The use of beer as a weapon, as well as one of the strippers, who is pregnant, having her water break over one of the creatures. I get it, but I really didn't want too. Not because it shocked me, but because it was solely included in the hope of a gross out moment. However, on the flip side of that moment, when the pregnant stripper is killed. As she lays dying on the ground, BJ's son hands the baby to her, so she can hold it for the first time and the last. It's these kinds of things that the movie needed more of. Not moments like a creature on a motorcycle continually calling Blue Jean “BJ” over and over, before getting beaned in the head by a baseball bat while charging hero on the bike. Then getting pissed on, by her son, in order to kill the monster.

The overall film is not without some merit. As I mentioned earlier, the music and special effects are quite good. The cinematography and direction are pretty well done, for a low budge creature feature. Perhaps with a more clever script and a better concept, this could have been much more enjoyable as a film. Instead, by the end, I was counting the minutes until it was over. But wait, there's more! Throughout the first part of the movie, Blue Jean is asked how she came to own a police motorcycle. She never tells the real reason why, until we get a cut scene at the end. A rather long cut scene, that really didn't fit anywhere else in the film and could have been explained with some exposition at an earlier point. There was no need for this scene to even exist, other than to allow her to strip and get one more set of baseball themed antics into the story. However, that wasn't even the end. There's one last little cut scene after all the credits have rolled. As if we hadn't had enough already. I wish I had some more positive things to say about 'Peelers'. There's just too many negatives, to add up to anything positive. For me, it's a 2 out of 5 star film. I really wanted to like it, as it started off with some promise. I get what the writer and director were going for, but instead of making a bad/good cult classic, they just kind of made a bad/bad forgettable film. Even the posters for this one, left a bad taste in my mouth. Both of them had nothing really to do with the film we were shown and were a tad bit misleading. Maybe that wasn't the film makers fault, but it's three strikes and your out. This ball game is over.



If you'd rather see something else, check out: 'From Dusk Till Dawn', 'Zombie Strippers' or 'Braindead' aka 'Dead Alive'

my thoughts on.... 'The Girl With All the Gifts'

As with all of my reviews of films for The Creepercast, I fully recommend that you check each and every one of them out. I am one man and this is my opinion. I've seen plenty of movies that received reviews that were the complete opposite of how I saw the film. These writers, directors, producers and actors all put a lot of time and love into these projects. They deserve to be seen and appreciated for what they are. Everyone has a dream and I fully support the people that take the time to make theirs a reality. With that being said....

With horror, sometimes it can feel like there's nothing new under the sun. When you get into certain subgenres, you feel that even more. Then, there's zombies. A particular brand of horror that, when I started watching zombie films in the early 90's, there used to not be much out there to sink your teeth into. Over the years, it's become so over saturated, that new ideas are few and far between. The few diamonds in the ruff, are usually half baked ideas or so low budget that the core idea is lost. There are always exceptions, where the idea may not be new, but the execution is so well done.... that we don't care. (ie: 'Train to Busan') Then there are films that not only take the genre and twist it into a new realm, but succeed in doing it with some substance and bravado. 'The Girl With All the Gifts' is an example of that. This film takes something we've all seen a 100 times before and puts a spin on it, that makes it into something else. It has deep and rich characters, superb actors and a gripping and intelligent story line. It's far from perfect, but it made me remember why I've always loved this genre and the potential for social commentary it has.

The film begins with a military style installation, where some of the last remains of human civilization are working with undead children. While they still hunger for human flesh, they have retained their human intellect and the ability to learn. They're kept in cells, overnight, but during the day they are subjected to a classroom style education and study. Medical professionals monitor what they accomplish in their studies and are working towards using the children for a possible cure. Among all of the subjects, one stands above the rest, Melanie. An intelligent, eager and very well spoken little girl. She appears to be like any other child her age. The only difference is that she is triggered by a hunger and the smell of human flesh. One of her teachers, takes notice of her and fosters her will to be a little girl. Meanwhile, the head scientist overseeing everything, has other plans. During the course of this research, the base is overrun by zombies and a small band of survivors goes on the run, including Melanie. They begin seeking out one of the other outposts, in the hopes of finding safety and the ability to continue their research. As their numbers begin to dwindle, so does their hope. Soon, they realize there is even more at stake then they had ever imagined.

What immediately sets this film apart from all the rest, is the little girl playing Melanie. In her first role, Sennia Nanua, hits the ground running. She creates a very touching and realistic performance, as a child who didn't want to be born into the skin she's in. However, the life she has is the only one she's ever known. During the course of the film, the more she learns, the more she understands her role in this new world. Joining her in the cast is Gemma Arterton, Paddy Considine and Glen Close. All of them came with their 'A' game and ready to play out this script, as though it was up for an Academy Award. You don't see this much in our beloved genre. Horror is typically looked at as nothing more than popcorn fodder. Something to be devoured, but not anything of real substance. But with the dawn of the 'Deathwave' movement and the social acceptance of horror, we're beginning to see this trend more and more. Sadly, Hollywood gets in the way, a lot of the time. Watering down the tale with worn out cliche's and a dumbing down of the narrative. Luckily, that's not the case with 'The Girl With All the Gifts'. What we end up with, is all of the tropes of a good zombie film, and so much more.

This film doesn't break new ground with every aspect of it's story, but with the parts that it does.... it goes for the jugular. I don't know why this garnered such huge buzz before it came out, only to kind of fall by the wayside in the end. Perhaps it's because so many people only saw it as still being a horror film. Unable to look past the bits of blood and gore, to see what's truly going on behind the curtain. In my humble opinion, 'The Girl With All the Gifts' deserves every bit of a 4 out of 5 star review. There's drama, action, zombie fun and a whole hell of a lot of solid acting going on. Glen Close has never been one to be known for 'phoning it in' and this film is no exception. Based on the novel of the same name, by M.R. Carey, there's a lot of new mythos that's added in this tale and some fantastic world building. I don't think this should, could or would need a sequel, but it does leave some unanswered questions. It also ends on a bit of a question mark. However, the entire film seems to come full circle and closes on an interesting up note. At nearly a two hour run time, I almost wish it had been longer or that they had focused on some aspects with more detail. There was such a rich story line that was only touched upon with minor exposition, that it made me hungry for more. In the end, I highly recommend that you see this film. It's not the greatest zombie film I've ever seen, but it's head and shoulders above most of what the genre has to offer these days.... and that's saying a lot.



If you like this, also check out: 'Train to Busan', 'The Battery' and 'Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead'

SEOUL STATION on iTunes Now! Don't miss the animated prequel to TRAIN TO BUSAN!

SEOUL STATION, from visionary Train to Busan director Yeon Sang-ho, landed exclusively on iTunes in the U.S. May 30th!

The animated prequel to the box office record-breaker TRAIN TO BUSAN and the latest from director Yeon Sang-ho, SEOUL STATION is a fresh and terrifying take on the modern zombie film.

A man sleeping in Seoul Station becomes a catalyst for the pandemonium in downtown Seoul; a zombie apocalypse. The rapidly spreading infection propels an authentic family drama, drawing mordant parallels to real-world social horrors.

Check out our review of  SEOUL STATION here and order your copy on iTunes today.

Creepercast Approved Project to Support: Zombies, Run! The Board Game

From the makers of Zombies, Run! the app comes a interactive boardgame designed to work in conjuction with an App. What began as a Kickstarter project is currently in production and you can pre-order your copy of the game for a December 2017 release.

Escape zombies. Find allies. Save humanity. Prepare for frantic, real-time, audio-driven fun for 2-4 players!

Order yours today at https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/sixtostart/zombies-run-the-board-game

Creepercast Approved Toys of Terror: ZOMBIES, RUN! The app

A fully immersive audio play that encourages you to run from zombies and collect items. Perfect for a late night run filled with adrenalized zombie action. We strongly suggest listening loudly to become fully apart of the action! Check out the video and website then download the app, you'll be on your to physical fitness in no time so that when the real zombie apocalypse is upon us you'll be ready!

https://zombiesrungame.com/

A Terror Time Out featuring 'Zombi 2'

You cannot consider yourself a true zombie fan, until you've seen Lucio Fulci's unofficial sequel to George A. Romero's 'Dawn of the Dead' (1978).
4 out of 5 stars

Atomic Zombies!!! (formerly It's a Zombie Apocalypse!!!) (2016) Review

Two weeks after a local nuclear power plant explosion (which totally wasn't an evil secret Nazi research laboratory), zombies have taken over the town! A group of useless survivors have banded together to argue about what to do next, but with no medical skills, military training or common sense there doesn't seem to be much hope.

Director: John McKechnie; Stars: J. Ryan Hickey, Mercedes Luteman, David McKechnie

We of the Creepercast take great pride in our support of independent horror, no matter how low the budget, bad the acting, or silly the story. We always look for the best in anything that may be determined the worst and based on that let you know what films you can waste a little bit of life being entertained by. Lucky for us all, Atomic Zombies!!! (formerly It's a Zombie Apocalypse!!!) is one of those films!

So then the answer is yes, Atomic Zombies!!! is a low budget film. $25,000 or so is what it claims. My guess is most of that went into the animated special effects suite used for the blood splatters and other cartoonish, in a video game like explosions etc. Maybe some of it went into equipment rental as well, but, I have a feeling this a film made up of college friends so maybe they pooled their resources. In any event they were unashamed by their lack of budget and had fun with what they had. There's no future major actors in the group, well, maybe the guy I'm certain is actually Joel even though he won't fess up, but, yeah no acting awards for this group, but that's ok because they know it too. It's part of the charm. The story is indeed silly, given what I've already mentioned they didn't set out to make a huge serious production of an ode to zombie films. Well, maybe if it was an Uwe Boll film, but I have a little more respect for them than that. Atomic Zombies!!! is a fun filled romp to waste a little bit of life being entertained by. Don't expect much more than that.

I would love to see Atomic Zombies!!! in a double feature with How to Kill a Zombie. In the meantime you can find it on many VOD platforms, Amazon, and even in Walmart! Follow there links below for me!

Facebook, IMDB, Amazon

My Review of Attack of the Leaderhosen Zombies By William S. Mayfield

Ok what do you get when you take a failing ski resort and a toxic waste dump that is on the side of a mountain? Well you get a zombie flick that delivers on many levels just not all levels.

Directed by Dominick Hartl and tells the story of Steve and Josh, a couple of extreme sport snow boarders that are at this ski resort to hopefully sway a contract out of the resort to further they're careers. But after Steve decides to do something, not only extreme but very inappropriate, in front of some of the younger guest they get cut from the selection and so starts our spiral into zombie hell. The guys are also joined by Branka who is Steve's girl friend. They get trapped at the resort because of a snow storm, all while the owners of said resort want to impress a Russian investor, they have somehow used the toxic waist sludge to mix with the snow making machines to make snow that, if I hear right, doesn't  melt as fast.

This movie moved kinda fast in the plot department and has, to be honest, been done a thousand times. Now there is a few good qualities that Attack of the Lederhosen Zombies has and its in the kill department. Some of the practical effects are top notch and are worth watching for. I think this Mr. Hartl's first trip in to the horror genre so I can cut him some slack. But as a film maker and seeing there is literally thousands of other zombie movies to get a reference from I cant give him that much. Over all I say if you like zombie movies with a capital B then this movie is right up your ally, if you lean more in the direction of  The Walking dead and Dawn of the Dead you might want to stay away. I give Attack of the Lederhosen Zombies a 4 out of 10. As always please watch for yourself.

6 weeks of Christmas Horror w/ my thoughts on.... 'Silent Night Zombie Night' (an original Creepercast site review)

As with all of my reviews of the independent films that we get sent here at The Creepercast, I fully recommend that you check each and every one of them out. I am one man and this is my opinion. I've seen plenty of movies that received reviews that were the complete opposite of how I saw the film. These writers, directors, producers and actors all put a lot of time and love into these projects. They deserve to be seen and appreciated for what they are. Everyone has a dream and I fully support the people that take the time to make theirs a reality. With that being said....
Usually, people like to save the best stuff for last, in this case.... it didn't happen. I took one for the team, so that you didn't have too.
It's no secret that I love zombie films. Anyone who's read one of my reviews of the increasing number of undead themed movies out there knows that they're my bread and butter of the horror world. I can't explain the exact reason why, but I love them unabashedly. Maybe it's the age old story of overcoming overwhelming odds or maybe it's coming to terms with our own mortality or maybe it's just that I love dead things? I don't know. All I have come to realize over the course of my life is that reanimated corpses are kind of my thing, but not in a weird way. Because of this, a zombie themed Christmas horror film seemed like a no brainer. (all pun intended) What I didn't realize is that 'Silent Night Zombie Night' would turn out to be DOA.

This epic waste of time, tells the story of 3 survivors of a weirdly swift and lame end of the world. Where the zombies go from zero to complete infestation in a matter of about 15 minutes. The entire United States basically just throws their hands in the air and surrenders to, quite possibly, the lamest horde of zombies ever put on screen. We open with a ripped off theme from a big budget studio, overlayed on a different companies logo. From that point on, I already knew this movie was going to steal an hour and a half of my life. In our opening scene we come to find Sarah Talbot (Nadine Stenovitch) in trouble. Soon, her smarmy, cop husband Frank Talbot (Jack Forcinito) shows up with his partner and equally unlikable guy by the name of Nash Jackson (Andy Hopper). They saunter around talking about how much they hate each other, until they realize that the zombie outbreak has occurred. With cat like reflexes and quick thinking, they run and hide in Frank's apartment, located upstairs and only about a block away, rather than help the citizens of LA. Once inside, they find Sarah doing the same thing, hiding. In a moment of clarity, Frank tries the stove to make sure its still works! Rather than taking advantage of a door at the bottom of the stairs that is protected by the heavy storm door attached too it, they just leave it open and close the apartment door at the top of the stairs. Luckily, the undead don't know how to open it. Over time, we come to find that the reason Nash and Frank hate each other is that Frank's marriage is on the rocks and maybe it's because of Nash. Stuff happens and soon Frank is hiding in an attic with an out of place, Jeff Hannigan (Lew Temple). While hiding, some other people in pads and helmets show up to “rescue” them all. Sadly, Jeff gets his face chewed and doesn't realize it until later. Then, the bite robs him of his acting ability and he gets killed. Some more stuff happens and soon it's only the 3 of them again and one of the rescuers. Frank and Nash do some stupid stuff and when they run out of bullets trying to kill 1 zombie, they end up beating it to death instead.... but not before letting it chew on them both. Frank gets smarmy all over the place and Sarah shoots them both and rides off into the sunset with Elsa Lansing (Felissa Rose). The End, thank God.
Written and directed by Sean Cain, this movie steals from every place imaginable and I'm pretty sure, didn't pay the RIAA for any of the music that was played.. From ripping off an entire scene from 'Reservoir Dogs' to using music he shouldn't have. It just seems like Sean was sitting around one night and was like, “I'm going to make a zombie movie! Kids love zombie movies!” and the rest is history. I don't like having to write reviews like this, because it's such a beloved horror sub genre for me. It's also upsetting, because I know that a lot of these people put their time, money and talents into something they believed in. Sadly, the acting was community theater, at best and the characters were all very unlikable. From the start to the finish, I couldn't have cared less who lived or died. I didn't even want to root for the zombies. Not only did they look like they dropped hot pizza on themselves, they made dolphin noises to communicate with each other and I'm not even joking. Not too mention, Frank always had a look on his face like he was squinting, working out a math problem while trying not to fart at the same time. Think, Clint Eastwood, combined with Dana Carvey doing his George Bush impression.... but with muscles. It's all I could do to finish this movie.

In the end, I was very glad when it was finally over. There was nothing about this horror film that I liked. Nothing. This is one of the reasons why the zombie brand is so over saturated. Because every Tom, Dick and Harry thinks it's easy to make a movie about the undead. It's not. It takes a smart script, with people you care about and the living dead that create fear in you. This had none of those things. 'Silent Night Zombie Night' was just an exercise in futility. I hate to give anything 0 out of 5 stars, so I'm going to bump it up to 1 out of 5 stars, because Lew Temple deserves a little credit. Granted, he got wrapped up in all the terrible and eventually lost his way. Even after that, I still like the guy. If you've got some spare time and want to watch the equivalent of having a hang nail removed, then this is the movie for you. If you would rather see an example of a good zombie movie, then look elsewhere. This one is bad for the sake of being bad. Even the undead wished they had stayed that way.

Want some good zombie films? Check out: 'Dawn of the Dead' (1978), 'The Dead'/'The Dead: India' or 'Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead'

A Terror Time Out featuring 'Dawn of the Dead' (1978)

4 survivors of a zombie outbreak, take refuge in a mall and find out that the monsters aren't only the undead.
5 out of 5 stars. My favorite zombie film of all time!