my 'classic' thoughts on.... 'Hit and Run' (2009)

Dragging the depths of my old horror reviews, I thought they might need to see the light of day again. So, I bring you some of Joel's 'Classic' horror reviews....

Let me start this review by saying, I think this movie is miss-titled. It should have been called 'Dumb', plain and simple. I don't know how much more I can clearly put it, this movie was silly and pointless and not in a fun way. But I'll be damned if I wasn't transfixed throughout the whole thing. I couldn't stop watching it, no matter how terrible it became.... and it just kept getting worse and worse! In the back of my mind, I was hoping that things would turn around. However, that was just wishful thinking. It starts out with a bang, literally and it continues on like it's going to end. The problem is, it just keeps going and going and going and just when you think you've seen the dumbest part of the movie, it just gets even dumber. It's basically a turd in a DVD case. (well, it was on demand, so a turd on demand).

Here's the story, if you can call it one. A young woman on spring break, leaves a bar and swerves to miss something in the road. She ends up hitting a man with her car and doesn't realize it. She goes home and later on in the evening finds out that a man is impaled on the front of her jeep. She checks to see if he's alive and he grabs her. She freaks out and hits him with a golf club, as you do, and thinks she's killed him. At that point, she's not sure what to do, so she goes and buries the body in a shallow grave. The only person she tells about this is her boyfriend, so now he's involved too. When they go back to get the blanket she had wrapped the body in (because she's afraid to get caught) she finds her boyfriend is dead. The man is gone too. Then suddenly, he attacks her. He then straps her to the front of the jeep and begins to terrorize her. It just goes downhill from there or should I say, further downhill.

This movie has no point, no plot, no suspense, no horror, it's just a big ball of poop. There's nothing redeeming about it. I kind of wish I had never watched it. Maybe you'd enjoy it? It was recommended to me by a friend that I shouldn't watch it, but I didn't listen and took the time to watch it anyway. That's time I'll never get back. Also, how Kevin Corrigan got involved in this, I'll never know. I thought he was better than that. I should also mention the ending. I think the writer had a heart attach and died and they got a monkey to finish the script. Honestly, stay away. For the love of God, stay away. 2 out of 5 stars, only because I couldn't stop watching, no matter how bad it got.

(NEW thoughts: As I was transposing the original review, from it's oddly formatted style, I had flashbacks about this film. I don't know why it's so seared into my brain, but it seems to have left some sort of permanent impression that I can never wash out. Curse you 'Hit and Run' (2009)!)



If you would rather watch a better version of a similar story, check out: 'Struck' (with Mena Suvari)

my thoughts on.... 'Minutes to Midnight'

As with all of my reviews of films for The Creepercast, I fully recommend that you check each and every one of them out. I am one man and this is my opinion. I've seen plenty of movies that received reviews that were the complete opposite of how I saw the film. These writers, directors, producers and actors all put a lot of time and love into these projects. They deserve to be seen and appreciated for what they are. Everyone has a dream and I fully support the people that take the time to make theirs a reality. With that being said....

Everybody wants to make their mark in life. Everybody wants to leave something behind that people remember. In the horror world, it's an iconic character that people latch onto and that takes on a life and a fandom of its own. For example, Wes Craven with Freddy Krueger or Sean S. Cunningham with Jason Voorhees. These were horror legends in the vein of Dracula or Frankenstein's monster. Because of this desire, we see a lot of masked killers and attempts at unique monsters, which the majority of the time just fade into the background after the credits roll. With the film 'Minutes to Midnight', you could tell that there was a lot of effort put into the character design of each of the three main villains and even the fourth, to a degree. The problem is that it was almost a bit too much. I fully gave everyone involved credit for putting forth a hell of an effort, but I think they missed the mark. Angus was a bit of a mess and although the bone crafted weapons looked cool, they weren't very practical and felt a bit forced. Calypso felt like she was taken straight out of the 'Mortal Kombat' franchise and Gimble.... well, he was a mixture of two of Bill Moseley's most memorable characters: Chop Top and Otis Firefly. I'll casually leave the fourth member out of this equation, as there's a hook I don't want to spoil for any new viewers. There's also a lot of unanswered questions, which are left to exposition throughout the story line, but a lot of things just don't make sense. For example, the little 'bunker' that the family lives in. Why has no one come across this and realized what was going on sooner? I know they had some protection in town, but that can't keep them hidden forever and they'd been doing bad things for a while now. There's also the main protagonists in the film. You don't really care about any of them, so when they're killed, it's kind of meaningless. The cast and the choices for each role isn't too bad. William Baldwin did his best and Richard Grieco felt a little out of place, as the long haired sheriff, but he tried. Overall though, everyone did their best to make a horror film that stood above a lot of the other fodder that's being churned out these days. Not just indie horror, but big budget nonsense that could learn a few things from it's lower budget cousins.

The story takes place on New Year's Eve, as a group of friends are settling into a night of partying at a local lodge that happens to be in an area where some horrible murders had happen. During the first part of the film, we see a younger couple, as the man is proposing to his girlfriend in an off limits wooded area. They're quickly dispatched by our trio of bad guys or so we think. Meanwhile, the group of friends is starting the party early at their mutual place of employment. Their boss is a bit of an overly friendly man towards his manager and there's another guy who's wandering around looking for his brother, who happens to be the guy that's murdered in the opening. The sheriff shows up and warns them all that a big storm is coming and to stay away from the lodge, as it's not going to be safe. The kids go anyway. Two of their friends are headed to the same lodge to meet them, as they're also quickly laid to rest. (One of them happens to be Dominique Swain, in a “blink or you'll miss her” role) As the night goes one, the killers begin to terrorize the aforementioned people, as one by one they're killed in creative and horrible ways. By the end, it's an all out battle of brains and brawn, as the sheriff, the drifter and the last two of the friends are trying to stay alive before the storm comes.

The film is directed by Christopher Ray, son of the film maker Fred Olen Ray. A director who has 153 craptacular entries on IMDB and is a bit of a legend in the b-movie world. Written by Victoria Dadi and Christopher M. Don, they do their best to build something of substance and in some ways they succeed, but overall.... it ends up being kind of a mess. The film itself, looks fairly well done. Composition wise and some of the choices that are made, but when the rest of it doesn't maintain the same level of quality, it kind of makes the whole thing fall flat. I don't want you to think this is something that's not worth your time. For all I know, you may love it. I've seen so many horror films and grown up in the genre, that I tend to hold the movies I watch to a higher standard. All in all, I think this could have used with some scaling back in regards to the number of main characters and the scoring of the film. Sometimes less is more and in this film, it felt like the desire was to throw in as much as possible in the hopes that it would stick but it didn't. There's also a big problem with the ending. By the third act, I found myself drifting a bit, as it seemed like the movie should have already ended, but then the last 3 minutes happened. In quite possibly the most “What the hell just happened?” ending ever, things just kind of were done. I don't understand what happened or why, but it almost felt like the money ran out or the editor clipped it a few minutes too early. Maybe the idea was to go for the vague and ambiguous ending, but it felt like someone hit stop on the film and never hit play again. It was jarring, to say the least.

Sadly, this one doesn't really get beyond a 2 out of 5 star film for me. I give a lot of credit to John Hennigan, as he was the shining star in this film. He's not quite got the same level charisma as a Dave Bautista or Dwayne Johnson, but he's very likable and I could see him continuing on as an action hero. Just looking at his career over the last decade, it looks like I'm not the only one who feels this way. Also, Christopher Ray has some talent. With 'Minutes to Midnight' he's proven that he can get the most out of the materials he's handed and that could prove to be a really strong asset as he continues his film making career. This isn't his film outing and I have a feeling it won't be his last. Do I ever need to see this again? No, probably not. There's just not enough here to hold my interest for another go, but give it a shot. Maybe you'll find something in it that I didn't. Plus, any time you can watch Bill Moseley practice his craft, it's a good day. (ps: the poster is incredibly misleading)

Minutes to Midnight is on VOD July 3 and DVD September 4.



If you want to see where this borrows from, check out: 'Friday the 13th' (2009), 'House of 1000 Corpses' and 'The Strangers'

my thoughts on.... 'The Strangers: Prey at Night'

As with all of my reviews of films for The Creepercast, I fully recommend that you check each and every one of them out. I am one man and this is my opinion. I've seen plenty of movies that received reviews that were the complete opposite of how I saw the film. These writers, directors, producers and actors all put a lot of time and love into these projects. They deserve to be seen and appreciated for what they are. Everyone has a dream and I fully support the people that take the time to make theirs a reality. With that being said....

When Bryan Bertino's film, 'The Strangers', was first released in 2008 it caused quite a big stir in the horror community. This was a slow burn horror that relied on tension and build up of the characters, before it resorted to the actual acts of violence. The killers were truly faceless and they had no real motive. It was what slasher fanatics had been waiting for, some validity to their beloved genre. Me, being one of those fanatics, immediately fell in love with it. It took the home invasion genre and mixed it with the masked maniacs and put fear back into the mix. For far too long, slasher films relied on a tried and true formula: buff guys, beautiful girls, a masked killer and a lot of blood. That worked for decades, but there wasn't a lot of variation in the mix. It was basically wash, rinse, repeat. Occasionally you'd get something brilliant like Scott Glosserman's 'Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon' or Greg McLean's 'Wolf Creek' or even Marcus Dunstan's 'The Collector'. Films that took something old and made it feel new again. Whether it was by truly doing something innovative or shaking up the formula a bit or just making something so pretty that it felt like an artist was behind the lens. The point being is that 'The Strangers' became somewhat of an instant classic and took everyone by surprise. For the years that followed its release, there was talk of a sequel, but nothing came to fruition. Bryan went on to make the high concept 'Mockingbird' and the simple but effective creature feature 'The Monster', but no sequel. Then, out of nowhere.... it happened. A trailer dropped for 'The Strangers: Prey at Night', but no Bertino behind the camera. He was resigned to being an executive producer and writer of the original screenplay. This didn't bode well for those of us who had been sitting in the nosebleed section, waiting for more. The trailer seemed okay, but the premise seemed bigger than the original. As if the studio wanted to take what was done in the original and ramp things up for a more modern audience. That was the first clue that this might not be what we'd been hoping for. The director, Johannes Roberts, had done some interesting things before, like '47 Meters Down'. A very intriguing take on the 'horror at sea' sub genre. So, it seemed there was hope for something that might hold onto the standards of the original. Granted, I'm the first one in line to try something new and to take a proven commodity and turn it on it's ear. Because of this, I was still hopeful. Well, the time finally came for me to sit down and see if the 10 years of waiting was worth it. What follows is inspired by true events. They actually happened to me.

However, we should get to the plot first. Warning, *SPOILERS* ahead. The film opens with a similar story line of Dollface coming to the door and then, we assume, terrorizing the couple that lives in the home only to kill them in the end. Most of that is left up to your imagination, based on the premise set up in the original. No context, just two basic establishing shots. Jump to a family of four, getting ready to leave for a trip to a trailer park type cabin getaway place on the way to dropping their bad egg of a daughter at a boarding school. Mom, dad, Kinsey and Luke pile into their vehicle and off they go. We get a glimpse into the family dynamic of a son who's the perfect kid and a daughter who's not. Mom and dad have pretty healthy relationship, but the four of them have all grown a bit distant. They arrive at the trailer park, only to find it to be quiet and nobody is around. Thinking it's the 'off season', they grab their key that was left with a note and head to their trailer. While the family is settling in, Dollface shows up looking for Tamara. After leaving, they decide to play cards as a family and Kinsey wants no part of it. Words are said and Kinsey storms out and Luke goes to find her. Mom and dad hang back to wait for their kids to return to pick up where they left off. After Luke finds Kinsey, they begin heading back to their trailer and see that one of the other trailers has the door wide open. They go into investigate, only to find the markings of The Strangers on the window and a couple of dead bodies in the bedroom, which happen to be their aunt and uncle. The two happened to have left their cell phones back with their parents and the phone in the trailer has had its line cut. So, they run back to tell their folks. Meanwhile, mom and dad have had another visit from Dollface, looking for Tamara. At this point, the parents are outside looking for their kids. When Luke and Kinsey coming up to them screaming about the murder, dad goes with Luke back to investigate and mom and Kinsey go back to their trailer and find out that their phones have been smashed. Dollface proceeds to show up, this time with her mask on, and quickly dispatches mom and Kinsey gets away. Dad and Luke realize what's going on, after listening to a voicemail on the machine at the aunt and uncle's and rush back to find mom dead and Kinsey gone. They hop in the car to go and look for them, only to be terrorized and end up crashing into another trailer, pinning dad to the car with a board impaling him. Barely alive, dad tells Luke to go find Kinsey and get her to safety. Leaving him behind, The Man in the Mask shows up and toys with dad for awhile before killing him. Now the hunt is on for the remaining two kids, as The Strangers seem to have the upper hand. That's all you're going to get in terms of plot and I've probably already said too much.

At this point, you're all wondering, was it worth the wait? I'm going to have to say, no. While this film has some interesting things going for it, they could have replaced The Strangers with anyone else and it would have made it better. Actually, I had an even better idea that would have made this movie stellar. (Minus one bit that I'll touch on in a minute.) Have the killers in this one, NOT be the original ones. Have them be some sort of copycat or followers of the original ones. Because these three are much more inept and incompetent, it would have made more sense. They lack any real style and seem to just be color by numbers. If you waited until the last minute of the film and when the daughter thinks she's safe and The Strangers are dead, have the three original ones walk out of the darkness. Even have the original three cast members reprise their roles! The masks are worn from 10 years of murder and mayhem. Their clothes might be a bit more ragged and have them finish what the other three couldn't, thus leaving it open for another film or to end with their reputation still in tact. That would have made this entire film take on a whole different feel and it would have made it kind of awesome, instead of kind of not awesome. But I digress, back to the actual film I watched. It opens with a kind of 80's style logo and intro, borrowing heavily from the 'Stranger Things' template. They also take the little bit of musical influence that Bryan left on the original and over do it. Which to me, seems like somebody in a suit calling the shots. “Hey that music bit really worked in the first one. Let's do that throughout the WHOLE film! Make it like, a 'thing' for The Strangers.” Yeah, it didn't play out well. Using 80's nostalgia songs vs what Mr. Bertino used felt forced and out of place. Again, lending itself well to my concept for the story. * hint hint * Hollywood.

As far as the rest of the film is concerned, it felt less simplistic but even more simplistic. Which I don't know how that's even possible, but somehow they pulled it off and it wasn't a positive thing. In reality there wasn't even a plot to speak of really. It was so incredibly generic and bland that it barely left an impression, other than one of distaste and a desire to talk about it. I'll give this film that much credit, it left me with a ton of rampant thoughts about what was wrong with it. Case in point, why oh why is Dollface unmasked? Seriously, that was the whole point of the first one. You don't know who it was and you don't need to know. It could have been anyone behind the masks. All you needed to understand is that they picked a couple at random, because they were home. They tried to drive that point home again, but it was lost by that point. Once again, lending itself really well to my concept. Finally, back to what I mentioned earlier, the third act. Pinup Girl, according to Bryan Bertino, was the leader. The brawn and the brains of the bunch. In this film, she made two brief appearances, only had about a line of dialogue and was killed really easily. These killers are not idiots with masks on. These killers are calculating and cunning. They may do things for sport and to get their kicks, but they know how to walk away untouched, only to commit their crimes again. The killers in this film are morons. Yeah, I said it. Also, what on God's green earth, prompted somebody to think that The Man in the Mask was Jason Voorhees? In the last showdown with Kinsey, the two girl killers are dead and The Man is the last one standing. So, he tries to finish the job and kill Kinsey. What ensues is a battle royale of punch for punch combat and eventually ends with him trapped in a burning truck CHASING her down the road like Nicolas Cage in 'Ghost Rider'! What in the actual hell? It all ends on a bridge where you think he's done, dead, gone. But no.... he's still kicking and proceeds to chase her down as she's trying to make a getaway with a scared mother and daughter. He was beyond dead, folks, but yet the sheer drive to kill her was a force driving the madman to go past his pain and finish the job. Cut to the final scene, Kinsey is in the hospital with her brother, who is somehow still alive. A knock on the door of the hospital room is heard and the credits roll. So, we're lead to believe that maybe The Strangers aren't dead? Is this the plan all along? Was my plot device going to be used after all? Good lord, I hope so. That would wash the taste of this film out of my mouth and make me want to view it again. At this point, I'm giving this one 2 out of 5 stars. It did nothing to drive the story along any further and if anything, pushed it back about 100 yards. It's left me wondering though, if this was what Bryan intended all along? I mean, if he had full control over it and was in the director's chair, would this have been the film he wanted? Or was this his attempt to kill the beast, since he no longer had control over the characters and story line? I suppose we'll never really know. For now, I'm hoping that I'm right and that these killers weren't the original ones. Until we know for sure, I'll hold on tightly to my Shout Factory Collector's Edition Blu-ray and re-watch it with glee. This version, based on true events? My ass.



If you didn't like this and want to check out much better takes on the sub genre: 'The Strangers' (2008), 'Ils' aka 'Them' (2006) and 'Eden Lake'

my thoughts on.... 'The Brain That Wouldn't Die'

As with all of my reviews of films for The Creepercast, I fully recommend that you check each and every one of them out. I am one man and this is my opinion. I've seen plenty of movies that received reviews that were the complete opposite of how I saw the film. These writers, directors, producers and actors all put a lot of time and love into these projects. They deserve to be seen and appreciated for what they are. Everyone has a dream and I fully support the people that take the time to make theirs a reality. With that being said....

Sometimes you just need to cleanse your palette. On nights like those, I'll find something schlocky and terrible to watch, so that it reminds me what the truly amazing films really are. However, there's something to be said for the joy of seeing how we used to live. Perhaps through the eyes of a film maker, we're getting a bit of a stylized or altered view of reality, but that's not the point. Film preserves a time and a place that are gone. Whether it was last year or 1962, it doesn't matter. In this life, every single second that passes is history as soon as the future unfolds and then it is the past as well. I'm not trying to get all deep on any of you, especially considering this is a review of the cult classic, 'The Brain That Wouldn't Die' aka 'The Head That Wouldn't Die'. Unlike what I just said, this movie has no real deeper meaning to it. A film like this was made to put asses in seats at the local cinema. An attempt to show an audience something they might not have ever seen before or to create shock and awe in them. While this particular film did neither of those things, it has still stood the test of time and shows up in the majority of books written about classic B monster movies from the 50's and 60's. You have to at least give it some credit for that. Beyond that distinction of being an oddity among the greats, it's somewhat forgettable. Now, to actually create a little shock and awe, this was the first time I've seen this film but we'll come back to that bit.

'The Brain That Wouldn't Die' tells the story of a young, hotshot doctor who's been experimenting with transplants. So much so, that it's become somewhat of an obsession to him. Much to the dismay of his doctor father. While traveling to his hidden house in the hills, the good doctor is driving rather recklessly with his best girl in the passenger seat. An accident occurs and her head is lopped clean off. Only thinking about transplants and bringing his girl back, he snatches her head from the burning car and off he goes. When he finally reaches his lab, he gives her a dose of his secret formula and rigs her up with a method to keep her alive. Not all of her.... just her head. (Which can talk, think and do fiendish things) Before the flames even cool on his burning car, he heads out to find a suitable body as a replacement for hers. Meanwhile, his trusty sidekick is back at the lab with the head and something that's lurking in the locked closet. The head learns that she can telepathically communicate with the thing in the closet and begins to plot her revenge. As far as she was concerned, she just wanted to have died in the accident. The doctor soon returns with a woman, unaware that the head has been manipulating things in the lab. While trying to complete his sinister plan, the head summons the power of the closet monster and ultimately he saves the transplant girl and the head gets her wish. She dies in a fire, along with the mad doctor and his sidekick. The end.

I'm not calling spoilers on this one. This film came out in 1962 and if you haven't seen it yet, now you don't have too. 'The Brain That Wouldn't Die' is not a good film. Not by any stretch of the imagination. While it has some charm to it, for purely reasons of nostalgia, it's far too simple and pointless. There's only 5 major characters, none of whom you care about. There are several pointless scenes of absurdity that only move to fill in the dead spaces between the scenes in the lab and despite Virginia Leith's best efforts to make something more out the script, even she couldn't save this sinking ship. I wanted to love this one, I really did. Sadly, it's just not a good film. I enjoyed some of the locations and set design, but there has to be more going on than just that. This is a good example of what was lingering on the fringe of horror film making back in the days before independent film was really a thing. I would venture to say that this is what would basically qualify as an indie horror film of the early 60's. While it probably had some backdoor studio funding, it was still low budget and outside of the mainstream.

There's a part of me that understands why this is brought up so often in books on our beloved horror history. It's such an oddity of a story that it begs the question of why it was ever green lit in the first place? Perhaps that's why? Because it was just so bizarre that they thought it might work. Regardless of all that, it still sits on my shelf as a place marker in the terror timeline. Not too mention that it includes the episode of 'Mystery Science Theater 3000', in which they riff on this film in it's entirety. That alone is worth the price of admission. I don't recommend that you submit yourself to this one, as you'll probably wish you had your hour and a half of wasted time back. Maybe you're some kind of sadist and enjoy that kind of thing. Who am I to judge? My best recommendation with this one is, if you're going to watch it, please do so with a group of other people and expect the worst. This is a 2 out of 5 star film, at best. A rainy day background piece, for when you're cleaning the house or doing the dishes. The funny thing about this in the end is that there's a lot more of these kinds of film on my horizon. You can't keep a bad film down. No matter how hard we all try.



If you like this, check out: 'From Hell It Came', 'The Manster' and 'Attack of the Giant Leeches'

my thoughts on.... 'Herschell Gordon Lewis' Bloodmania'

As with all of my reviews of films for The Creepercast, I fully recommend that you check each and every one of them out. I am one man and this is my opinion. I've seen plenty of movies that received reviews that were the complete opposite of how I saw the film. These writers, directors, producers and actors all put a lot of time and love into these projects. They deserve to be seen and appreciated for what they are. Everyone has a dream and I fully support the people that take the time to make theirs a reality. With that being said....

When Herschell Gordon Lewis passed away in 2016, I was saddened by the loss. Not because I was a huge fan of his body of work, but because of who he was and how uncompromising he could be. He was in the business to make money and do it by cashing in on untapped markets, primarily gore. He basically brought about a new genre that was unheard of in the 60's. No one had ever seen anything like it, but he knew it would draw a crowd and that meant asses in seats and money in his pocket. He was a fascinating man who was charismatic, well spoken and quite humorous. Needless to say, I was a fan of him. I even have his box set in a place of honor, resting above my film library, for all the world to see. While he stepped away from the world of horror cinema, to go make his fortune elsewhere, the genre kept moving forward without him. He inspired generation after generation of hungry film makers out to prove their worth in the field. Before his untimely passing, he threw his hat back into the ring one final time, as a love letter to all of his fans. The film that he left behind, is the film I'm talking about now: 'Herschell Gordon Lewis' Bloodmania'. An anthology film that was made on a shoestring budget that features all the earmarks of the master. While this may not be a jumping off point to start a retrospective on his career, it was a solid way to end the adventure. A worthwhile send off for a man who forged his own path and left a permanent mark on the landscape. Granted, this film is not going to win any awards for its high quality film making or stellar acting performances, but that wasn't the point. That's the biggest thing you have to understand, before viewing this film. If you go into it for any other reason, other than your love of the man behind the camera, then you may be left wanting. What lies ahead is my journey, one last time, down the blood soaked path of Mr. Lewis. Remembering him fondly and smiling from ear to ear. RIP Herschell, you were a true trailblazer and proof once again that horror is just as much about the creator as it is about the concept.

As this is an anthology, there is no single narrative. The only constant is the introductions to each segment by Herschell himself. He almost serves as the proverbial Crypt Keeper of the film. Providing us with some horror style “dad jokes” before the mayhem begins. The film begins with the traditional theme song, performed by Herschell, as we get almost an infomercial style intro. The first story is probably the best. It tells the tale of a man who just can't win, no matter what he tries. Think Wil E. Coyote, but with a bloody hook and a lot of gore. It plays out almost like a commentary on society itself, as we have basically a found footage style story telling method. It's a little rough, but it almost feels like the good ole days. The second story, is intended to be all about love. As a woman continuously keeps dying at the hands of her lover. Over and over she is put into horrifying situations that always end in her ultimate demise, only to find out that she's been in a coma for years. Now, an old woman, she is almost forced to keep living out these terrible fantasies as she is unable to wake up. The next story is about a home that is inhabited by something in the walls. Every new family that moves into the house, is ultimately killed. Over time, we learn that there's a creature in the wall that loves hair. She's almost a feral type woman, who finally meets her match when a couple move in with their two little girls. Finally, the last story is about a band manager who has a fetish for killing women. This one is where things get a little off the rails, as it almost becomes a demented cartoon at the end. Despite all of this, the film ends. Sadly, with no outro from Herschell himself, which left me feeling a little unsatisfied.

What really works in this film, is that you can tell it was made by the fans. Everyone involved seems to want to be there, because they love what Herschell Gordon Lewis had done in the past and loved him. Almost as if they wanted to be a part of something greater than themselves. To that, I give them all kudos. It may never reach the heights of his original films, but it was a nice way to close out a career. What's kind of fascinating is that despite Herschell's reasons for becoming a film maker in the first place, he continually seems to place nuggets of wisdom and comments on society at large. For example, there are several, rather, pointed digs at the media and it's philosophy of “If it bleeds, it leads” mentality. There is also a few moments of young girls opting to take videos on their phones, rather than helping those in need. It's these kinds of little nods that make me think he knew there was some power within his storytelling, even outside of the money. He was a true enigma and a bit of a conundrum. One of the more fun things about this film, outside of the obvious, was his little nods to other film makers. During the segment about the creature living in the walls of the home, two of the realty companies that are selling the house are named 'E. Roth Realty' and 'JS Waters Realty'. For those who may not have caught it, Eli Roth and John Waters are two film makers who moved independent films and horror films forward with their rather extreme method of storytelling. Not too mention, they were both Lewis fans. While I wish he would have stuck to the use of practical effects only, there were some instances of CGI being utilized.... and not very well, I might add. Finally, there is some pretty over the top absurdity going on here. Namely the treadmill chase during the final segment or the steamroller scene in the first one. But despite all of the shortcomings and minor issues I had with the film, it was still a lot of fun and there was some genuinely good things going on.

While Herschell Gordon Lewis may not be everyone's cup of tea or maybe not anyone's cup of tea, you can't deny his body of work. The man was a machine in the 60's and 70's and pumped out film after film for a market that was hungry for content. Not only that, he was giving the people what they wanted: nudity, violence and gore. Things that mainstream Hollywood wouldn't or couldn't provide. Does that make him some kind of smut peddler? Perhaps. But when you hear him speak and look at what he accomplished outside of film making, the man was a legend. Never ceasing in his drive to work and create, he is a personal watermark for me and I strive to be the man he was. 'Bloodmania' is by all standards, a low budget, shot on video trashterpiece. A grimy plaque left on the headstone of a man that redefined what horror was. If you venture to view this visceral visage, go into it knowing that it wasn't made to be an epic tale or the great American movie. This was made to satisfy millions of fans who were hungry for one more course in the meal that only the master could prepare. While as a film, it's genuinely only a 2 out of 5 star rating, but as a final chapter in Herschell Gordon Lewis' life, it's 4 stars all the way. We will never see another one like him in my lifetime, if ever. They say that there's nothing new under the sun anymore, but I don't believe this to be true. I think there's still more to discover and create, it's just harder to find a niche that hasn't already been satisfied. Let's just hope that there's still young, up and coming film makers who are going to keep reaching for the stars. Because I, for one, want to be there when they reach their goal.



If you like this, check out some of Herschell's other films: 'Blood Feast' (1963), 'The Wizard of Gore' (1970) and 'Two Thousand Maniacs!' (1964)

my thoughts on.... 'Nails'

As with all of my reviews of films for The Creepercast, I fully recommend that you check each and every one of them out. I am one man and this is my opinion. I've seen plenty of movies that received reviews that were the complete opposite of how I saw the film. These writers, directors, producers and actors all put a lot of time and love into these projects. They deserve to be seen and appreciated for what they are. Everyone has a dream and I fully support the people that take the time to make theirs a reality. With that being said....

I remember a time, back in 2005, where I stumbled across a little horror film by Neil Marshall called 'The Descent'. It was an all female led, claustrophobic film about underground monsters that prey upon these unknowing amateur spelunkers. It caught me be surprise and set a new standard for horror films. It also introduced me to a wonderful actress by the name of Shauna MacDonald. She stole the show as the lead in the film and seemed to be a force to reckon with. Because of this, when I heard of a recent horror film called 'Nails', also starring Shauna, I was intrigued to say the least. It finally hit Netflix a couple of weeks ago and I finally had to chance to see what she had been up to recently. It seemed like a simple premise and I liked the idea of a straightforward kind of story that keep things all in one place. Sometimes those are the most promising ways to tell a scary story. Put our protagonist in a situation where the antagonist is always around the next corner, but there are only so many corners you can run too. In an effort to keep this one kind of short, let's delve into the plot.

Shauna's character is a woman who seems to have her life all together, until she gets hit by a car and ends up in a rehab hospital. Not the good kind, but the kind that's haunted by some evil forces and not just the ones who are running the place. While she's laid up recovering, she's got no ability to move and can't even talk. She relies on the staff to take care of her and a little computer to do the speaking for her. During the course of her stay, strange things begin to happen. She seems to be the target of some sort of stalker or potential murderer. No one believes her though. No one has seen this person and just chalk it up to her being a little loopy from the medications. Her husband doesn't believe her either. He initially tries to help with her paranoia, by having cameras placed on and around her room. This leads to people doubting her even more, as when the person shows up, there's nothing on the camera to prove it. Since she has a lot of time on her hands, she begins researching the hospital and comes to find out that a former employee used to steal little kids fingernails and also murdered 5 of them. He did it as an “angel of mercy”, but was a murderer none the less. He killed himself in the closet in her room and had earned the nickname, Nails, prior to his death. The woman then believes that this is the man who is trying to do the same to her. Everything begins to spiral out of control as we soon start to question everything. That is, until the final showdown between Nails and the woman and her daughter. Who will be victorious? The results may surprise you.

This is Dennis Bartok's directorial debut. I will say this, the film's pacing and overall tone was solid. There was a lot good to be said for the basic structure of the film. The main problem was with the villain. He was.... lame. In the shadows, he created a bit an imposing stature, but as soon as he was in full view then it all fell apart. There's also a scene at the very end that was quite possibly one of the dumbest deaths I've ever seen committed to celluloid. It was incredibly cringe worthy and made me lose what little faith was left in the film. Another thing that was a bit problematic about this movie, was that no one is really killed until the end. At that point, literally every one is fair game for Nails to kill. Despite the entire premise being set up around his desire to kill our main character. It's like all bets are off and he's going to go on a rampage and just forget the other 80 minutes that just happened. That's a horror movie no no. Shauna really does the best that she can with this role. She doesn't really have much speaking and her primary form of communication is the little lap top and her body language. Despite these limitations, she was excellent. That's not an easy undertaking and she took it like a champ. The rest of the cast seemed a bit unlikable and you don't really care too much about them. Even her male nurse, that kind of befriends her, isn't much in the good guy mode. I'm not sure why Tom Abrams and Dennis Bartok made this creative decision, but in order to make horror movie deaths have an impact, you have to care about the people getting killed.

Finally, when the credits rolled, I realized how little I felt about this film. It started off with some great potential. It had really solid atmosphere and good direction. The hospital itself was a creepy character all on its own, but there were so many other wasted opportunities that I left the whole experience feeling let down. I'm not sure if the plan was to try and franchise this idea, but I'm hoping this ends up just being a one off outing for 'Nails'. I'm hoping that Mr. Bartok continues playing around in our horror sandbox. I think he's got potential, he just needs a better story and maybe something without a primary villain that seems so designed to be an icon. Just make a scary movie and focus and making us pee our pants. The rest will fall in line, if the film is strong enough. Horror franchises aren't generally created, they're just born. I'd give 'Nail's a 2 out of 5 start rating. It's not the worst I've seen, but it doesn't ever need to be seen again. P.S. Shauna MacDonald, please keep making movies. Thank you.



If you would like to see some other, better horror, check out: 'The Descent', 'Fritt Vilt aka Cold Prey' or 'Halloween 2' (1981)

my thoughts on.... 'From Hell to the Wild West'

As with all of my reviews of films for The Creepercast, I fully recommend that you check each and every one of them out. I am one man and this is my opinion. I've seen plenty of movies that received reviews that were the complete opposite of how I saw the film. These writers, directors, producers and actors all put a lot of time and love into these projects. They deserve to be seen and appreciated for what they are. Everyone has a dream and I fully support the people that take the time to make theirs a reality. With that being said....

About two weeks ago, something happened to me that's never quite happened before. I saw a trailer for a film called, 'Death Kiss'. Now, that's not the strange part of the story. What was strange is that the main actor in it looked exactly like a personal favorite of mine, Charles Bronson.... who passed away in 2003. This was a new film though. I was confused at first and then remembered a post on Reddit about a face swap software that was allowing everyday people to take on the visages of celebrities. I assumed that this was the next phase of that technology. Full length films with long gone movie stars. I quickly learned how wrong I was. This was an actual man named Robert Kovacs Brunzi. Someone who bears almost an unnatural similarity to the late Mr. Bronson. So much so, that every time I see him, I have to do a double take. It's uncanny! After watching the trailer and sitting with this moment of shock for a while, I found out this wasn't his first film. He also starred in another piece from last year called, 'From Hell to the Wild West'. A curious title, that only makes sense once you put it in the context of the film's story line. Needless to say, I had to jump on this one and see if he could hold his own against his near legendary counterpart. I fired this one up last night and sat back to enjoy a simpler time in my life, when all that mattered what Charlie and me and losing ourselves in a couple of hours of escapism. This was the result.

The story takes place in the old west and during the opening credits, the last words you see before the film begins, is that this is based on a true story. Okay, so now I'm intrigued. We open on a long haired gentleman stomping through the woods, as he digs up a mask that's supposed to be a stitched together thing. In reality, it looks like it's a manufactured Halloween mask from Party City. (Sorry, Party City) He's stalking a woman who'd getting water down by the stream. He pulls out a large butcher knife and heads down to carry out some nefarious deeds. Meanwhile, a man by the name of Buchinski (Charles Bronson's birth name, by the way and played by Robert Kovacs Brunzi) who's doing some stalking of his own. He's out to kills this man and stop his reign of terror. But Buchinski is ALSO being stalked by a lawman, who stops him from killing the madman and causes Buchinski to become the hunted madman suspect. The madman kills the woman and gets away. Cut to two more woman showing up at the local saloon. The town is all but abandoned, except for the lawman, I guess. The two woman are soon victims of the madman too. This leads me to question why anyone even comes to this town anymore? Fast forward to a college student doing some research on an old slave woman's diary, which has led hear to believe that the madman is Francis Tumblety. A real life person, who was thought to have possibly been Jack the Ripper. She tells her professor the tale and he soon believes that she may be right. A bunch of other killing and chases happen and things end.

Let me just get this out of the way, this was not a good movie. Not by any stretch of the imagination. The best part of this film, is Brunzi. He channels the hell out of his inner Bronson and for the roughly hour and a half run time, I felt like it's the late 70's again. Other than that, this was pretty abysmal, even by low budget standards. I believe this was someone's “great” idea for a film that couldn't get funding and thew in Brunzi to sell the idea. It's a confusing premise, that's overwrought with too many ideas and not enough proper execution. It was basically a serial killer film, set in the old west, relying on a real life character that meets a former action star. The title gives all of that away, but you wouldn't know it, until you saw the film. If you are familiar with the Jack the Ripper case, he signed a letter 'From Hell'. This was also the title of the Johnny Depp film, made by The Hughes Brothers. It's lazy, I'm sorry. It also kind of turns Jack the Ripper into a slasher villain. I don't think ol' Jacky boy would ever utilize a meat cleaver in his handiwork. I also don't think Jack just ran around an old west town wearing a mask and killing anyone and everyone that wandered into it. That's not his style. They also elude to how smart Francis Tumblety was. This character in the film, literally just runs after women and kills them Ala Jason Voorhees. While that works for Mr. Voorhees, it doesn't work here. There's also some major anachronisms here. The two women who show up to the town to take a job at the local saloon, look and sound like they just stepped out of a CW spin off show. (Sorry to the CW) Not too mention that the action sequences look like they were staged by my nephew, who's 4 years old. Right down to two shots, that the film makers probably thought were clever, but weren't. One with a POV shot from the front of a rifle of the hero of the story and then one from the other end of the rifle like a first person shooter. It's lazy and didn't work for 'Doom' and doesn't work here. Oh yes and probably the worst use of a Wilhelm Scream ever put to film. Finally, poor Mr. Brunzi is overdubbed by a Charles Bronson impersonator. I've heard him speak and he may not sound like Charles, but that's because he isn't Charles. They could have skipped that part and probably saved some money.

I wanted to like this, I really did. It was just too much, too little and too awful. While I loved seeing my beloved Charles Bronson back on the screen in a new film, it could have been in a much better film. I mean, Robert is almost an exact duplicate of Charles. From his posture, to the way he holds a gun and right down to his build. It's creepy. That was the selling point. That's where I think 'Death Kiss' may succeed. Granted, I don't expect it to be a good film, but at least it knows what it wants to be. For this film, it's a 2 out of 4 star film. The extra star is for Bronzi. Maybe 'From Hell to the Wild West' would've been served better if it had just stuck to the Francis Tumblety story alone? I don't know. I mean, that story is kind of intriguing. But when you throw in all the other elements, it just kind of implodes on itself. I sincerely hope that we get more films from Robert in the future and for what it's worth, every one has to start somewhere. In his case, I guess starting at the bottom of the barrel means he has no where to go but up.



If you want to see Charles Bronson in his prime, check out: 'Death Wish' (1974), 'Hard Times' (1975) or 'The Mechanic' (1972)

my thoughts on.... 'Torso'

As with all of my reviews of films for The Creepercast, I fully recommend that you check each and every one of them out. I am one man and this is my opinion. I've seen plenty of movies that received reviews that were the complete opposite of how I saw the film. These writers, directors, producers and actors all put a lot of time and love into these projects. They deserve to be seen and appreciated for what they are. Everyone has a dream and I fully support the people that take the time to make theirs a reality. With that being said....

I've tried to enjoy Giallo films. I've tried on more than one occasion, but they just don't seem to appeal to me and I do not get the ongoing appeal of this style of Italian horror. For those unfamiliar with the term or the genre, Wikipedia defines it as: “In English-speaking countries, the term giallo often refers to the Italian film version of the genre, a particular style of Italian-produced murder mystery thriller-horror film that usually blends the atmosphere and suspense of thriller fiction with elements of horror fiction (such as slasher violence) and eroticism (similar to the French fantastique genre), and often involves a mysterious killer whose identity is not revealed until the final act of the film. The genre developed in the mid-to-late 1960s, peaked in popularity during the 1970s, and subsequently declined over the next few decades.” On paper, this seems like a no brainer, for those of you who know me and my tastes in horror. The problem is, that no matter how many times I try and no matter what films I watch, this just doesn't resonate with me. Not in any way, shape or form. It's kind of frustrating, because I know so many people adore this genre and there have been countless books, documentaries, etc made about it. I guess it just proves my point that there is something out there for everyone and that's what makes books, art, film, television, etc so great. Either way, last night I gave it one more college try, as I watched Sergio Martino's 'Torso'.

The story is simple enough. Someone is killing pretty coeds and the police only have one clue, that the killer is wearing a red and black scarf. The police seem to have no other real leads or suspects in the case and the killers body count keeps rising. A group of 4 women, in fear for their lives, take a trip up to a villa to get away from the danger. Little do they know, that they've been followed by the masked killer and he may make them his next victims.

Sounds like your standard 80's slasher fare, right? 'Torso' was made in 1973 and was the 5th film in Sergio Martino's Giallo cycle. Some consider it to be his best work in the genre, while others contend that it was his least successful. The biggest thing to realize about Giallo films, is that they contain a few very distinct elements. Beautiful women, slow and methodical pacing, gore and excellent cinematography. (See the earlier Wikipedia citation for additional standards in the genre) This film contains all of those elements, but it never seems to form into an enjoyable experience. It's less of a horror film and more of a who cares who done it? None of the characters are particularly likable and everything is so paper thin, that it feels like a late night Cinemax film.... made in the 70's. Don't get me wrong. I love 70's style film making. Slow burns are a wonderful thing, when there's some kind of payoff at the end or an overall lesson to be taught. The problem is, that 'Torso' never had that final moment at the end where I felt satisfied with all of the waiting and buildup. It just kind of ends.

I don't know if I'll take a trip back down the Giallo rabbit hole again. I've seen several, including the master work of the genre: 'Susperia'. The only film in this Italian hay day that I truly appreciate is Lucio Fulci's 'Zombi 2' and I don't even think it qualifies to be included in this review. I'd give 'Torso' a 2 out of 5 star rating. I know that this may garner some hate among fans of the genre, but it's just not for me and there's nothing wrong with that. To each their own. Maybe someday, I'll look back on all of this and realize that I was wrong, but until that day I'm done with Giallo films. I've done my research and put in the work. I'll leave these films for the die hard fans to enjoy and go back to my regularly scheduled programming.



If you like this film, check out some of it's contemporaries: 'Susperia', 'A Lizard in a Woman's Skin' and 'Deep Red'

my thoughts on.... 'The Blackcoat's Daughter'

As with all of my reviews of films for The Creepercast, I fully recommend that you check each and every one of them out. I am one man and this is my opinion. I've seen plenty of movies that received reviews that were the complete opposite of how I saw the film. These writers, directors, producers and actors all put a lot of time and love into these projects. They deserve to be seen and appreciated for what they are. Everyone has a dream and I fully support the people that take the time to make theirs a reality. With that being said....

As the year is slowly crawling to a finish, I've been re-visiting my contenders for the 'Top 13 Horror Films of 2017'. Realizing that there are still a whole lot of films left for me to watch, before January 1st, I've been lurking on other sites and seeing what other critics early front runners are. One film that seems to continually be on every single list I find, is 'The Blackcoat's Daughter'. Having some free time on Sunday and letting my curiosity get the best of me, I watched it. Before I get into the details of the film and what my thoughts were on it, I have to confess, that throughout about 75% of the film, I was wondering what in the hell was going on? If I'm watching a David Lynch film, it's to be expected. However, if I'm watching something by another director, I don't have that expectation. This was also not the good kind of confusion. This was more of the 'I wish I knew what was going on' kind of confusion.

From what I could make out about the plot, the film tells the story of a college type school, where 2 girls are stuck over a break. Meanwhile, in a peripheral story line, another girl is traveling across country to the same school. Strange things seem to be afoot, as one of the girls begins to exhibit some bizarre behavior. She starts to become more mean spirited and eventually ends up in the basement, having some kind of weird convulsions in front of the furnace. More strange things happen, as the girl becomes more unhinged. At the same time, the traveling girl is being given a ride by a nice couple headed in the same direction as her. Back at the college type school, the weird girl kills 2 caretakers and then kills the other girl stuck at the school. She beheads them and places there severed heads in front of the furnace. She's then shot by a police officer and taken into custody at a hospital. A priest comes and realizes she's possessed by the 'devil'. He gets the 'devil' out of her and it takes up living in the traveling girl. She then beheads the friendly couple and takes their heads to the furnace. That's basically the end.

A lot of minor events happen within the be-headings, but most of them seem to be plot devices to keep the story moving forward. There's also a shadowy 'devil' kind of thing, that looks like Frank the rabbit (from 'Donnie Darko') and a Muppet, had a baby. This movie has a very simple plot and is quite the slow burn. The problem isn't either of those things. The problem is that the viewer just doesn't care about any of the protagonists or antagonists, as well as the minimal plot. This film has no real purpose or direction. Granted, it's pretty to look at and give everyone involved, credit for putting forth a good effort. I just don't understand all the praise that's being given to 'The Blackcoat's Daughter'. It's as if they took all the pieces from 'The House of the Devil', 'Rosemary's Baby', 'The Exorcist' and 'Dead Poets Society' and put it in a blender. The result isn't a delicious mash up of the source material, but rather a muddied mess of a movie.

I can't recommend that you watch this film, but I also wouldn't tell you not too. Obviously, a lot of other critics out there, are seeing something I'm not. The funny thing is, I love simple stories. I dig the idea behind this film. The actors are on point with their craft and the mood is very well set. In the end, however, it just doesn't work. I'd give this a 2 out of 5 star rating. This is something I never need to see again. Sadly, it's not like 'The Babadook', which I initially disliked, but eventually came to realize that I was missing the point of the film. This movie doesn't have a point. It just.... is. 'The Blackcoat's Daughter' will not be making my 'Top 13 Horror Films of 2017'. Instead, I'm going to quietly walk away from the whole experience, wondering what in the hell I just watched?



If you'd like to see (what I feel) was the source material for this film, check out: 'The House of the Devil', 'Rosemary's Baby' and 'The Exorcist'

my thoughts on.... 'Devil's Domain'

As with all of my reviews of films for The Creepercast, I fully recommend that you check each and every one of them out. I am one man and this is my opinion. I've seen plenty of movies that received reviews that were the complete opposite of how I saw the film. These writers, directors, producers and actors all put a lot of time and love into these projects. They deserve to be seen and appreciated for what they are. Everyone has a dream and I fully support the people that take the time to make theirs a reality. With that being said....

Some movies, after you finish them, leave you feeling confused and uncertain what just happened.... and why? Tonight, I witnessed the movie known as, 'Devil's Domain'. As to why it was called that, I'm not entirely sure. There were so many different things going on in this film, but none of them seem to make sense. I mean, the overall story was coherent and there were some interesting and good things going on. However, in the end, I just don't know what to make of it? Was it an allegory on bullying? Was it preaching to us about the dangers of reality television? Could it have been a warning about being careful what you wish for? I'm just very unclear on the whole thing. Written and directed by Jared Cohn, a man who has a pretty healthy resume. This is not his first film and looks like it won't be his last. He's also an actor and is quite active in the film making world. The lead actress, who plays Lisa, Madi Vodane is very charismatic and enjoyable to watch on the screen. Linda Bella, who plays the “she-devil”, is pretty well cast and they both do the best with what they have. Even Michael Madsen, who seems to have fallen out of the good graces of Hollywood, was convincing in the minor role that he played. (Speaking of which, if you want to see a recent film of his that was excellent, check out 'The Lumberjack Man'. It was fantastic!) There was just some major failings that can't be overlooked.

The film tells a cautionary tale about Lisa. A high school girl, who's failed attempt at making a friendship with her best girl friend, into more of a girlfriend, winds up making her an outcast. This puts a huge target on her back, as it seems like the entire school has turned on her. When a note, looking like its written in blood, falls on her desk. She signs a death warrant on some of the people who've done her wrong. The first to go, is a girl who's 'poofed' away to a red room, where she's chainsawed to death, while being Snapchatted to the entire school. They all assume it's a hoax. Nobody ever talks about it again. Back to Lisa.... She's bulimic, unpopular and headed down a path towards suicide. When her next door neighbor shoots spy cam footage of her binging, purging and then masturbating, it spirals her out of control. After coming home from her massive public shaming, she is contemplating ending her life. While cruising Facebook, a new friend seems to appear, Destiny. This new friend quickly invites her to come and meet her. She sends a car to pick her up and Lisa winds up at a rather shady looking location, full of people who appear to be 'hangers on' of Destiny's. They have a little love making session and Destiny reveals that she's the devil in disguise. She tempts Lisa into signing a pact, that has no real clear definition of what the payment will be, just that Lisa will be famous and can get revenge on her classmates. Just prior to this, a couple more people die. Nobody says anything and they just seem to disappear. Things go from bad to worse, as Lisa soon realizes that this is not just a game, but a real life deal with Satan, that has real consequences. (None of which include the mentioning of any of the multiple high school students being horribly murdered by the devil.) It all ends, eventually, with the truth of the deal coming out.... she's to have the son of Satan and bring about the end of the world? What's a girl to do?

'Devil's Domain' is a mess of a film. Outside of the enjoyable performance of the lead and some solid practical effects, the rest of what transpires is not very good. I legitimately can't tell you what the purpose of this film is? It's very simple in it's execution and story line. It almost feels like it's trying to be a modern, younger take on 'Rosemary's Baby', but in a more direct and violent kind of way. Sadly, it doesn't have any of the cache or suspense that Roman Polanski's film did. There's also some major issues in the plot and it doesn't feel very satisfying when it's over. Like when you eat an entire bag of chips and dip. It may have been kind of fun here and there, but you end up on the couch feeling like you made a huge mistake that you can't take back. I also, seriously, feel like Jared Cohn was trying to make something with a deeper meaning behind it, but a good idea isn't enough to carry a film if you can't flesh out the script enough to make it make sense to the viewer. I, also, kept waiting for something to happen with all of the deaths in the film. Like maybe the police would come to suspect Lisa being behind them or that it would somehow be blamed on one of her bullies. Instead, that piece of the film is just swept under the carpet with no explanation. Like the deaths of the bad people didn't matter and there were no repercussions for them. Maybe the devil can just make it all just go away, like it never happened, but then you need to explain that to the audience. Perhaps I'm just grasping at straws and picking apart the movie too much, however, I want to leave a movie with something more than an empty pit in my stomach.

If I was to say something positive about 'Devil's Domain', it would be that it serves as a good palate cleanser. I can honestly say that whatever the next film is that I watch, it will seem good in comparison to this. I'm not a film maker and don't claim to be one. I'm not a frustrated screenwriter and I'm just giving my opinion on what I saw, but I've seen enough horror films in my day and read enough books about them, that I know what makes a good film. I respect Jared for setting out to make something that he wanted to make, but that doesn't make it good. This is barely a 2 out of 5 star film and that is solely based on the leads and the special effects. Even the music, which is made up of quite a few larger named artists, isn't utilized in a way that moves the film forward. Not too mention the horribly out of place use of Onyx's song 'Slam'. What teenager in 2016 has any clue about that song or would want to hear it played at their house party? I even saw Sticky Fingaz name being boasted about being in the cast. If he's got a role in this film, even if it's just at the party, he's so well hidden that I didn't even see him. There are so many other great independent horror films out there, that you can spend your time on. I can't recommend this as being one of them. Only watch this, if you want to see if you can determine the purpose of it being made.

This film is now available to rent on VOD, with a Blu-ray release set for July 17.



If you want to see a similar story, done better. Check out: 'Rosemary's Baby' or read the Bible

my thoughts on.... 'Peelers' Available July 4th

As with all of my reviews of films for The Creepercast, I fully recommend that you check each and every one of them out. I am one man and this is my opinion. I've seen plenty of movies that received reviews that were the complete opposite of how I saw the film. These writers, directors, producers and actors all put a lot of time and love into these projects. They deserve to be seen and appreciated for what they are. Everyone has a dream and I fully support the people that take the time to make theirs a reality. With that being said....

Sometimes you're thrown a curve ball in life and sometimes you turn it into a giant ongoing gag, that never really worked to begin with. That seems to be the theme of this movie, 'Peelers'. Here, at The Creepercast, we try to always keep an open mind and go into each and every film with fresh eyes. No judgements, prior to a screening, just the desire to see as many horror films as possible and bring our thoughts on them to you. When I was giving the assignment of seeing 'Peelers', I had absolutely no idea what I would be in for. The poster was vague, at best, and I stayed away from any reviews. For all I knew, this was a movie about a strip club being targeted by some kind of serial slasher. What I got instead, was a bizarre mess of a zombie film that used a very odd premise, while attempting to be clever and original. Now, I give the creators credit for bringing something new to the table, but this was a mess of a movie.

The story begins in a hospital, with a sick man who is soon attacking the staff. Foreshadowing? We then move onto a rather clever intro, but one that feels more like a late night Cinemax film, than a zombie movie. Soon we're meeting our protagonist in the film, Blue Jean. A former stripper, turned strip club owner, who has a police motorcycle, a bit of a temper and a thing against being called “BJ”. The club, called 'Titty Balls', is in the process of being sold to a rather greasy man who seems to be a bit of a bad guy. As the night wears own, a group of 5 guys getting off of work, stroll into the bar. One of them is celebrating his birthday, but has been injured on the site. Before long, he's in the bathroom throwing up and turning into a zombie type creature. What happens next it an odd mix of 'From Dusk Till Dawn' meets 'Zombie Strippers'. We find out that these are not merely the undead, but some kind of oil infused living dead creature. Ones that are fully capable of using weapons and have some form of intelligence. It turns out that the 5 workers had stumbled across some kind of oily substance in the mine and were fairly certain this was their ticket to a fortune. In reality, it was soon to be the beginning of a potential apocalypse. The strippers, co-workers and Blue Jeans' son, are soon in a fight for their lives, as it seems nothing can stop these monsters from staying dead.

Written by Lisa DeVita and co-written and directed by Sevé Schelenz, 'Peelers' tries too hard to be something new. It also attempts to push the envelope, riding somewhere along the lines of a Troma movie and an early Peter Jackson film, 'Bad Taste'. Sadly, none of it seems to really work. The special effects are above average and the music is good, although the pacing is so off that it doesn't help to maintain a kinetic story line. It's very disjointed and right in the middle of some very gruesome sequences, the characters stop to have heartfelt moments. They're so jammed into the scenes that it feels like the kind of thing a first year film student would try. The same can be said for the characterization of Blue Jean. The overuse of her love of baseball and the many bits of baseball themed dialogue that are thrown in, make her a very one dimensional character. Which is sad, because Wren Walker (who plays Blue Jean) is very charismatic and likable. You find yourself drawn to her and want her to succeed, but every time she says another throw away line about the world's favorite pastime, you lose a little more interest in her survival. They also take the bit about these creatures being oil based to a weird and unsatisfying resolution. Because of their primary substance being oil based, then of course, water is their natural enemy! Not since 'Signs', has their been such an audible groan from the audience. The revelation also leads to some rather unconventional killing methods. The use of beer as a weapon, as well as one of the strippers, who is pregnant, having her water break over one of the creatures. I get it, but I really didn't want too. Not because it shocked me, but because it was solely included in the hope of a gross out moment. However, on the flip side of that moment, when the pregnant stripper is killed. As she lays dying on the ground, BJ's son hands the baby to her, so she can hold it for the first time and the last. It's these kinds of things that the movie needed more of. Not moments like a creature on a motorcycle continually calling Blue Jean “BJ” over and over, before getting beaned in the head by a baseball bat while charging hero on the bike. Then getting pissed on, by her son, in order to kill the monster.

The overall film is not without some merit. As I mentioned earlier, the music and special effects are quite good. The cinematography and direction are pretty well done, for a low budge creature feature. Perhaps with a more clever script and a better concept, this could have been much more enjoyable as a film. Instead, by the end, I was counting the minutes until it was over. But wait, there's more! Throughout the first part of the movie, Blue Jean is asked how she came to own a police motorcycle. She never tells the real reason why, until we get a cut scene at the end. A rather long cut scene, that really didn't fit anywhere else in the film and could have been explained with some exposition at an earlier point. There was no need for this scene to even exist, other than to allow her to strip and get one more set of baseball themed antics into the story. However, that wasn't even the end. There's one last little cut scene after all the credits have rolled. As if we hadn't had enough already. I wish I had some more positive things to say about 'Peelers'. There's just too many negatives, to add up to anything positive. For me, it's a 2 out of 5 star film. I really wanted to like it, as it started off with some promise. I get what the writer and director were going for, but instead of making a bad/good cult classic, they just kind of made a bad/bad forgettable film. Even the posters for this one, left a bad taste in my mouth. Both of them had nothing really to do with the film we were shown and were a tad bit misleading. Maybe that wasn't the film makers fault, but it's three strikes and your out. This ball game is over.



If you'd rather see something else, check out: 'From Dusk Till Dawn', 'Zombie Strippers' or 'Braindead' aka 'Dead Alive'