As with all of my reviews of films for The Creepercast, I fully recommend that you check each and every one of them out. I am one man and this is my opinion. I've seen plenty of movies that received reviews that were the complete opposite of how I saw the film. These writers, directors, producers and actors all put a lot of time and love into these projects. They deserve to be seen and appreciated for what they are. Everyone has a dream and I fully support the people that take the time to make theirs a reality. With that being said....
Every horror film seems to need a gimmick. Whether it's a specific weapon the killer uses or a mask that makes them terrifying. If you want a scary movie to turn into more than just a movie, but maybe a franchise, you need to have a hook. Something that will create an iconic character for audiences to love and hate at the same time. One that they will root for either to die, by the end or to live on another day. Some how, when writer/director Jared Cohn came up with the idea for 'Death Pool', he felt that death by being drowned by a serial killer was a great idea. It wasn't. What we ended up with, should have been called 'The Post Frat Boy Swim Party Massacre'. Too long of a title, right? Too long of a movie, is more like it. This film was way too long, really poorly scripted and just plain dumb. I try to be open minded in my reviews and not to be very blunt about how I felt about a movie. I usually look for the positives among the negatives, in order to shine a light on the aspects that made it something more than an exercise in futility. In the case of 'Death Pool', there's no two ways around it. This was a bad movie.
The story opens with a boy who's being left with a babysitter, that he clearly doesn't like. As soon as mom and dad leave, the attractive babysitter, takes the boy out to the pool and forces him to swim. She then thinks it's fun to hold him under the water like she's drowning him. Somehow, this creates a spark in his little brain, that murdering pretty girls in a swimming pool is what he wants to do when he grows up. However, he doesn't consciously realize this, until his best friend takes him on a pool cleaning job. While there, he sees a beautiful girl, comes back after his friend has left and proceeds to drown her. (Which takes all of about 30 seconds.) From there, he goes to a swim school and drowns another girl. At this point, it's on. He can't seem to control his urges and before long, he's killing everyone he can. The press starts to call him: 'The Valley Drowner'. He confides in his best friend, that he's the murderer and instead of his friend persuading him to stop.... he eggs him on and soon becomes his cheerleader yelling “Good work, Johnny” over and over. Over the course of a couple of days, he drowns a number of women and eventually men too. All the while, his best friend is pushing him to continue, as he's now achieved the ultimate goal of being a celebrity. The media frenzy is off the charts, especially considering the amount of time has passed since the killing started. In a particularly heinous act, he murders his former girlfriend and it's implied that he has sex with the corpse. One lone cop, is chasing after him, but seems to be all alone, despite the stock footage and sound effects used to imply a massive manhunt. It soon ends with the most lackluster chase sequence in the history of film. Only to find out killer, on a beach somewhere, free and thinking about killing again.
There are so many things wrong with 'Death Pool', that I'm not sure where to even begin. I've mentioned quite a few of them already. For example, the amount of time it takes for someone to drown. The number of people he kills in public places, with no one noticing or trying to stop him. The horrifying use of stock footage, to imply a bigger budget than this movie clearly had. The response time of the police force, being until 5 seconds, but still being unable to catch one guy on foot. It just goes on and on. Perhaps Jared Cohn was attempting to make an Ed Wood style b-movie? I don't think that was his intention, but I could be wrong. There's also the big question mark as to why he felt that drowning people was a great concept for a horror film? Yes, drowning is a terrible way to die and a subconscious fear that most of us probably have. However, it's not something that lends itself well to this kind of movie. It just comes off as stupid. Our main character of Johnny, played by Randy Wayne, is charismatic enough and he does a good job of being somewhat likable. The script is just too poorly written for him to ever really have any depth or development. Everyone around him in the story, are just cardboard set pieces for him to interact with, in order to get to the next scene. The other actors do their best to create tension, but it never really happens.
'Death Pool' is the kind of movie, that as a kid at the video store, would have caught your eye because of the cover art. But once you got it home and started watching it, you would have realized the grave mistake you had made by talking your mom into letting you rent it. Maybe there was some nudity to keep your attention, but even that was boring, just like the plot. This movie doesn't even deserve a single star rating. I watched it until the credits rolled, but only because I had too. I'm not a quitter. Speaking of the credits, the music used in the credits sequence and throughout the film, was almost as terrible as the movie itself. When you take all of those factors and push them together, I can't recommend that anyone see this movie. It wasn't so bad that it's good. It was so bad that it was awful. Stay clear of this one at all costs. I'd almost rather watch 'The Exorcist II: The Heretic' again, than to sit through 'Death Pool' another time. Just drown me now, in my sorrows.
If you'd rather watch something better, check out.... any other horror film, take your pick.
No comments:
Post a Comment