Dragging the depths of my old horror reviews, I thought they might need to see the light of day again. So, I bring you some of Joel's 'Classic' horror reviews....
(Note to the reader: I must have been in a pretty bad place, at the time I was writing this. As this is a fairly angry review.)
I will never know exactly what possessed me to watch this movie. I've never been so happy to see something be over. There was nothing redeeming about this film. There was nothing interesting about this film. It wasn't a pleasure to watch. The script was god awful, the directing was sub par (at best), the actors were horrific, the plot was z-grade porno with a bit of blood and gore. I don't even want to dignify this movie by explaining the plot. I'm not even sure there was one, to be honest. Basically, it was a lot of gross out things happening and drug use. The ending was predictable and lame, as all get out. I don't even know how in the hell this movie got funding. Let's hope this put the nail in the coffin for anyone involved from ever making a film again. I'd rather watch beige paint dry, than to ever have to watch this again. Less than 1 out of 5 stars, if that was even possible? I suppose that would make it a zero.
Rather than watch this, I'd recommend getting a vasectomy. If you want to see something better, just watch anything other than 'Someone's Knocking at the Door'.
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