NEWS: Crazy Bitches 2: Mommies Behaving Badly Coming Soon

Christmas ornaments turn deadly, when mommies behave badly and someone can't take it anymore. In the aftermath of the slaughter of Crazy Bitches at the Hallowed Spirits Ranch, Alice has divorced Eddie and is trying to get on with life, especially since Eddie has already remarried and to someone younger than her.  She distracts herself by volunteering to organize the Holiday Pageant for her son's Pre-school class, but that doesn't help much since Eddie's new wife has a 4 year old too and she joins an already fractioned group of "mommies". The Holiday Pageant committee becomes a hotbed of conspiracies and terrible parenting. Alice drags her sister, Minnie, into the mix, desperate for an ally, and Minnie is happy to help, but she's having her own issues. She's absolutely sure someone is following her and to make matters worse she's been having dreams about all her friends that died over that fateful weekend. Her dreams turn to nightmares as each old murdered face morphs into someone new. Pretty soon her nightmares cross into reality as badly behaving mommies start turning up dead. "Clark’s intelligent script and her ability to maintain the funny while amassing the gore is a welcome entry into a genre, heretofore, untapped by women directors." - Madrid S. Angelo, ROCK CHICAGO CRAZY BITCHES 2: Mommies Behaving Badly is set to start filming February 2017. The film is being written by CRAZY BITCHES writer/director Jane Clark.

my top 13 "Final Girls".... the recap!

13) Mary from 'The Day' played by Ashley Bell
12) Sarah Carter from 'The Descent' played by Shauna Macdonald
11) Angela Vidal from '[REC]' played by Manuela Velasco
10) Stretch Brock from 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2' played by Caroline Williams
9) Jennifer Hills from 'I Spit On Your Grave' played by Camille Keaton and Sarah Butler
8) Sally Hardesty from 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' played by Marilyn Burns
7) Kristen Parker from 'A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors' played by Patricia Arquette an Tuesday Knight
6) Cherry Darling from 'Planet Terror' played by Rose McGowan
5) Alice Hardy from 'Friday the 13th' played by Adrienne King
4) Alice Abernathy from 'Resident Evil' played by Milla Jovovich
3) Nancy Thompson from 'A Nightmare On Elm Street' played by Heather Langenkamp
2) Laurie Strode from 'Halloween' played by both Jamie Lee Curtis and Scout Taylor Compton
1) Sidney Prescott from 'Scream' played by Neve Campbell

-----------------
Honorable Mention:
Wendy from 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead' played by Kate Graham
I hope you've enjoyed this list and feel free to contribute your own thoughts on the topic! Yes, Ellen Ripley is noticeably absent here, but I never saw the 'Alien' franchise as horror.... in the traditional sense. For my top sci-fi "Final Girls" list, she'll be right there at the top! Also, I must mention the original final girl: Lila Crane from 'Psycho'. Without her, there would be no list to begin with. Sweet nightmares, Creeps!

my thoughts on.... 'Abattoir'

As with all of my reviews of films for The Creepercast, I fully recommend that you check each and every one of them out. I am one man and this is my opinion. I've seen plenty of movies that received reviews that were the complete opposite of how I saw the film. These writers, directors, producers and actors all put a lot of time and love into these projects. They deserve to be seen and appreciated for what they are. Everyone has a dream and I fully support the people that take the time to make theirs a reality. With that being said....

Where do I begin with 'Abattoir'? I'm honestly perplexed with this one. On paper, it sounds like an interesting idea. All the moving parts make sense and the cast and director are solid performers. However, when you put all of that into a film making blender, you end up with this movie. A complete mess of different ideas that don't make sense together. Even the cast fell apart, before they even got started. Obviously, you can see where this review is going, unlike the film I just watched.

It opens with our main character, Julia (played by Jessica Lowndes), who appears to be living in a 1940's film noir. Turns out, she's just a girl who likes being anachronistic and is actually a journalist in modern day, working for a newspaper. Then we meet the man who is enamored with her, Declan (played by Joe Anderson). He also seems like a man out of sync with the rest of the world. Hamming it up, playing the old school police officer cliché, straight out of a pulp novel. Some things happen to establish their unimportant relationship, as Julia goes to visit her sister. We soon realize that something bad is about to happen. Later that night, her sister, husband and niece are murdered and the man responsible calls Julia. She and Declan rush right over to her sisters place, only to find everybody dead and the murderer casually sitting at the dining room table. A week later, the funeral is held and we learn that her sisters house has already been sold. Upon investigation, Declan and Julia find out the murder room has been removed from the house, but the rest is left standing. That's kind of weird, right? More things happen as Julia gets hot on the trail of the man who's buying and taking all the murder rooms, Jebidiah Crone (played by Dayton Callie). She heads to the town where he lives, to find out what fiendish plot he has for all of this blood stained wallpaper and easy chairs. A lot more things happen as the plot is revealed and everyone is confused. Before long, we get the big reveal of the house and the rest you will need to experience on your own. I don't want to ruin this for anyone, just in case you are interested in seeing it. (However,I may have already done that.)

Directed by the very competent, Darren Lynn Bousman and written by Christopher Monfette. I expected a lot more with this pedigree. Sadly, what I got was something that made me feel like I was really stupid. Not because the film was stupid, but because I felt like I must be missing something really obvious or the part of the plot where it made sense to the rest of the viewers. It all was just very confusing and nonsensical. The motives of Jebidiah are terrible. The motives of the towns people involved, make no sense. The house itself, is basically a reason to try and create as many different death scenes as possible. Like a haunted house, come to life? I'm not sure what exactly they were going for, but this was so off the mark, I don't know if they even knew anymore what they originally set out to make. A gateway to hell that an entire town is willing to sacrifice all of their children for? Who really wins in this deal? Even the name of the film, 'Abattoir', which means “slaughterhouse”.... is unecessarily pretentious. I'm sure in the pitch meetings, it all sounded neat, but I'm a little upset that I spent my time investing in this story.

After all is said and done, I don't really have much I can say about it, that I enjoyed. I hate beating up on someone's passion project, but it just doesn't work as a film. It seems to be more about the end, where we get the big house reveal and even that falls flat. I'm hesitant to give it 2 out of 5 stars, as I really want my hour and a half back. However, I'm not saying that you shouldn't give this film a try. Maybe I missed out on a bigger plot point that would have made this all be amazing, but for me, it missed all the marks. An attempt at being original, that just ended up being a lot more of the same, just in the shape of a giant house.



If you want a haunted house movie, check out: 'The Woman In Black', 'The House On Haunted Hill' (1959) or 'Cabin In The Woods' (technically, not a haunted house, but VERY original)

A Terror Time Out: Still from 'Silent Night, Deadly Night' (1984)

A Christmas horror mainstay and classic!

JP's Random Review: Maniac (2012)

“A deeply disturbing and convoluted re-imagining of the 1980 original. Elijah Wood is one creepy dude, even without furry feet or a talking dog.” - The Creepercast

Director: Franck Khalfoun; Writers: Alexandre Aja,  Grégory Levasseur (screenplay), Joe Spinell (original screenplay); Stars: Elijah Wood, Nora Arnezeder, America Olivo, et. al.

The original Maniac (1980) came out of nowhere. While most of the slasher films of the period were trying to ride the Halloween wave, Maniac was inspired by the 1970's first person POV classic Peeping Tom. But it didn't stop there, it became Psycho, with a love for mannequins, which are creepy already.  As disturbing as it is to actually be a killer whose best friends are lifelike dolls, Maniac wasn't art. Not until a bunch of French filmmakers and a hobbit took on the project a few years ago.

Art is what Khalfoun (P2, High Tension) and Wood have created with their version of Maniac. Each shot is expertly crafted to maintain just enough tension and mystery to make it a thrill ride. We are Elijah Wood in this movie, so to say he is the star is giving him a lot of credit. We see what he sees and witness every stalk and grisly action he commits as if it was done by our own hands. The only time we get shocked out of this is when we see 'ourselves' in a reflective surface. That's when a quickly spiraling out of control Wood stares back accusingly to make us ashamed for being so into what he's doing. Though the film seems slow to expose its secrets, it actually moves at just the right speed to that keep us accustomed to the new level of insanity we are about to be introduced too. This is something Jason and I have often talked about trying to do in a film of our own. All in all, Maniac (2012) is a great re-make that doesn't apologize for striving to be darker and more disturbing than the original. That's why it will definitely be a cult film that you need to have in your collection.

When it comes to a sneak attack on the horror genre Elijah Wood has managed to sneak out of the woodwork. You may remember way back when I mentioned his hush hush creation of an in house horror production company called The Woodshed (now called SpectraVision). Prior to this, his involvement in horror films had been limited to The Faculty, and getting high with talking dogs (Wilfred). There is already a huge buzz developing around the upcoming horror comedy Cooties, which, with a name like that, can only be brilliant. Also in the works is the Iranian vampire film, A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night, now in post-production. So if you love Elijah Wood like we do and have waited as long as we have to see him get deeper into horror films, here's our chance! We will definitely keep stalking this good son!

Til next we bleed,

J.P.

LAMB OF GOD to Release The Duke EP, Featuring Two Never-Before-Heard Songs and Three Live Tracks

Read an Exclusive Interview with Randy Blythe

+ Hear New Track "The Duke" via  

Rolling Stone

  

The Duke EP out November 18 | Vinyl out November 25

Pre-Order Here | Order via Digital Retailers on Friday

 

Adjoining Charity Campaign Offering LAMB OF GOD Memorabilia to Benefit the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society

 

Internationally-renowned heavy rock band LAMB OF GOD released a brand new EP, entitled The Duke, on November 18, 2016 via Epic Records. The EP was released as a vinyl version the following week, on November 25. The Duke EP is titled after the new track "The Duke", written in honor of the band's late friend and fan, Wayne Ford, who was named after "The Duke" John Wayne.

 

"A little while ago I became friends with a fan named Wayne Ford - he was terminal - leukemia. I talked with him often, even video chatted him into the studio. He was very calm about his impending death, and we discussed it very openly. I learned a lot from him. This song is for him," dedicates vocalist Randy Blythe.

 

You can stream the new track "The Duke" and read an in-depth, exclusive interview about The Duke EP with Randy Blythe now via Rolling Stone: http://www.rollingstone.com/music/features/hear-lamb-of-god-honor-late-fan-on-new-song-the-duke-w445283

Exclusive pre-order bundles for The Duke EP, including CD and vinyl versions, are available via http://theduke.lnk.to/merch. Pre-orders on iTunes, Amazon, Google Play and other digital retailers, plus Spotify streaming of "The Duke" is currently availble.

 

The Duke EP Track List:

1) The Duke

2) Culling

3) Still Echoes - live from Rock am Ring

4) 512 - live from Bonnaroo

5) Engage the Fear Machine - live from Bonnaroo

 

In conjunction with The Duke EP release, LAMB OF GOD will be offering the following items with all proceeds going to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (WWW.LLS.ORG):

- Randy Blythe's Ashes of the Wake gold record plaque

- Signed signature model guitars

- Signed copies of handwritten lyrics

- Signed copies of The Duke EP on CD

- Signed copies of The Duke EP on Vinyl

- Signed copies of Randy Blythe's book

- Plus more

 

The charity campaign is being hosted via Propeller.la and will launch Friday. For more information, please visit www.lamb-of-god.com.

 

LAMB OF GOD is:

Randy Blythe (vocals)

Mark Morton (guitar)

Willie Adler (guitar)

John Campbell (bass)

Chris Adler (drums)

 

LAMB OF GOD Online:

www.lamb-of-god.com

www.facebook.com/lambofgod

https://twitter.com/lambofgod

http://instagram.com/lambofgod

BEYOND THE GATES Trailer and Poster from IFC Midnight

Available in select theaters, on VOD, and via digital platforms on December 9th from IFC Midnight. 

SYNOPSIS
A retro-cool blast from the day-glo 1980s past, Beyond the Gates zaps viewers back to a time when VHS ruled, video stores were meccas for horror fans, and shocks came with a healthy dose of schlock. In the wake of their father’s mysterious disappearance, two estranged brothers—responsible Gordon (Graham Skipper of ALMOST HUMAN) and reckless John (Chase Williamson of JOHN DIES AT THE END)—reunite to sift through the contents of his stubbornly anachronistic VHS rental store. Among the inventory, they discover an interactive VCR board game, which their father viewed just before he vanished. Intrigued, the boys pop in the tape, press play, and soon discover that, far from an ordinary game, the video is a portal to a nightmarish alternate reality overseen by a sinister hostess (cult horror icon Barbara Crampton) and that in order to save their father’s soul, they must play by her rules. Bursting with eye-popping practical effects, an unsettling synth score, and wicked black humor, Beyond the Gates puts a fresh spin on old-school terror.