As with all of my reviews of films for The Creepercast, I fully recommend that you check each and every one of them out. I am one man and this is my opinion. I've seen plenty of movies that received reviews that were the complete opposite of how I saw the film. These writers, directors, producers and actors all put a lot of time and love into these projects. They deserve to be seen and appreciated for what they are. Everyone has a dream and I fully support the people that take the time to make theirs a reality. With that being said....
Where do I begin with 'Abattoir'? I'm honestly perplexed with this one. On paper, it sounds like an interesting idea. All the moving parts make sense and the cast and director are solid performers. However, when you put all of that into a film making blender, you end up with this movie. A complete mess of different ideas that don't make sense together. Even the cast fell apart, before they even got started. Obviously, you can see where this review is going, unlike the film I just watched.
It opens with our main character, Julia (played by Jessica Lowndes), who appears to be living in a 1940's film noir. Turns out, she's just a girl who likes being anachronistic and is actually a journalist in modern day, working for a newspaper. Then we meet the man who is enamored with her, Declan (played by Joe Anderson). He also seems like a man out of sync with the rest of the world. Hamming it up, playing the old school police officer cliché, straight out of a pulp novel. Some things happen to establish their unimportant relationship, as Julia goes to visit her sister. We soon realize that something bad is about to happen. Later that night, her sister, husband and niece are murdered and the man responsible calls Julia. She and Declan rush right over to her sisters place, only to find everybody dead and the murderer casually sitting at the dining room table. A week later, the funeral is held and we learn that her sisters house has already been sold. Upon investigation, Declan and Julia find out the murder room has been removed from the house, but the rest is left standing. That's kind of weird, right? More things happen as Julia gets hot on the trail of the man who's buying and taking all the murder rooms, Jebidiah Crone (played by Dayton Callie). She heads to the town where he lives, to find out what fiendish plot he has for all of this blood stained wallpaper and easy chairs. A lot more things happen as the plot is revealed and everyone is confused. Before long, we get the big reveal of the house and the rest you will need to experience on your own. I don't want to ruin this for anyone, just in case you are interested in seeing it. (However,I may have already done that.)
Directed by the very competent, Darren Lynn Bousman and written by Christopher Monfette. I expected a lot more with this pedigree. Sadly, what I got was something that made me feel like I was really stupid. Not because the film was stupid, but because I felt like I must be missing something really obvious or the part of the plot where it made sense to the rest of the viewers. It all was just very confusing and nonsensical. The motives of Jebidiah are terrible. The motives of the towns people involved, make no sense. The house itself, is basically a reason to try and create as many different death scenes as possible. Like a haunted house, come to life? I'm not sure what exactly they were going for, but this was so off the mark, I don't know if they even knew anymore what they originally set out to make. A gateway to hell that an entire town is willing to sacrifice all of their children for? Who really wins in this deal? Even the name of the film, 'Abattoir', which means “slaughterhouse”.... is unecessarily pretentious. I'm sure in the pitch meetings, it all sounded neat, but I'm a little upset that I spent my time investing in this story.
After all is said and done, I don't really have much I can say about it, that I enjoyed. I hate beating up on someone's passion project, but it just doesn't work as a film. It seems to be more about the end, where we get the big house reveal and even that falls flat. I'm hesitant to give it 2 out of 5 stars, as I really want my hour and a half back. However, I'm not saying that you shouldn't give this film a try. Maybe I missed out on a bigger plot point that would have made this all be amazing, but for me, it missed all the marks. An attempt at being original, that just ended up being a lot more of the same, just in the shape of a giant house.
If you want a haunted house movie, check out: 'The Woman In Black', 'The House On Haunted Hill' (1959) or 'Cabin In The Woods' (technically, not a haunted house, but VERY original)
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