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Sunday, September 30, 2018

my 'classic' thoughts on.... 'Hit and Run' (2009)


Dragging the depths of my old horror reviews, I thought they might need to see the light of day again. So, I bring you some of Joel's 'Classic' horror reviews....

Let me start this review by saying, I think this movie is miss-titled. It should have been called 'Dumb', plain and simple. I don't know how much more I can clearly put it, this movie was silly and pointless and not in a fun way. But I'll be damned if I wasn't transfixed throughout the whole thing. I couldn't stop watching it, no matter how terrible it became.... and it just kept getting worse and worse! In the back of my mind, I was hoping that things would turn around. However, that was just wishful thinking. It starts out with a bang, literally and it continues on like it's going to end. The problem is, it just keeps going and going and going and just when you think you've seen the dumbest part of the movie, it just gets even dumber. It's basically a turd in a DVD case. (well, it was on demand, so a turd on demand).


Here's the story, if you can call it one. A young woman on spring break, leaves a bar and swerves to miss something in the road. She ends up hitting a man with her car and doesn't realize it. She goes home and later on in the evening finds out that a man is impaled on the front of her jeep. She checks to see if he's alive and he grabs her. She freaks out and hits him with a golf club, as you do, and thinks she's killed him. At that point, she's not sure what to do, so she goes and buries the body in a shallow grave. The only person she tells about this is her boyfriend, so now he's involved too. When they go back to get the blanket she had wrapped the body in (because she's afraid to get caught) she finds her boyfriend is dead. The man is gone too. Then suddenly, he attacks her. He then straps her to the front of the jeep and begins to terrorize her. It just goes downhill from there or should I say, further downhill.

This movie has no point, no plot, no suspense, no horror, it's just a big ball of poop. There's nothing redeeming about it. I kind of wish I had never watched it. Maybe you'd enjoy it? It was recommended to me by a friend that I shouldn't watch it, but I didn't listen and took the time to watch it anyway. That's time I'll never get back. Also, how Kevin Corrigan got involved in this, I'll never know. I thought he was better than that. I should also mention the ending. I think the writer had a heart attach and died and they got a monkey to finish the script. Honestly, stay away. For the love of God, stay away. 2 out of 5 stars, only because I couldn't stop watching, no matter how bad it got.


(NEW thoughts: As I was transposing the original review, from it's oddly formatted style, I had flashbacks about this film. I don't know why it's so seared into my brain, but it seems to have left some sort of permanent impression that I can never wash out. Curse you 'Hit and Run' (2009)!)



If you would rather watch a better version of a similar story, check out: 'Struck' (with Mena Suvari)

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